A Poem by serpent




my eyes,

like white sheets  on my bed.


my mind

like the colorless roses now dead.

Blank, is the color

of this smile on my face

blank is the numbness

of this purple haze.

Blank is the source of

promises that were your lies

blank is the state of my hatered

for your smile.


my soul now,

like these stains of cherished memories

that you left inside a blank heart.

© 2011 serpent

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register


very moving. i love when u said blank is the state of ur hatred. i know the feeling.
after being hurt so many times sometimes u just feel numb.

Posted 10 Years Ago

This is claustrophobic, leaves nothing open, all is encased with such melancholy and seething!
The colour used in this is interesting, the eyes, the mind, dull toned, the numbness, in purple, great contrast, makes the reader feel the emptiness more :)

Posted 10 Years Ago

Blank tends to force a person to madness. Lack of feeling is not a trait humans execute well and thrive with. It is difficult to capture a black hole like blankness because there is nothing tangible to describe. Good job.

Posted 10 Years Ago

Another poem that I find states my feelings as I have felt them.

Posted 10 Years Ago

Very strong with the repitition... and you almost press the delete button on emotion as you reveal the eyes, mind, etc. Very clear, very white. (sp. hatred :) )

Posted 10 Years Ago

There's so much emotion in this: anger, sadness, etc. I love it. You worded it so beautifully. Well done. :)

Posted 10 Years Ago

The most beautiful works of art are created on a blank canvas. Perhaps it is time for you to start coloring the canvas again...create a painting to incorporate the brilliant, cherished memories that linger within your heart, combine it with fresh new inspirations and experiment with creative, different applications too...could turn out to be quite the masterpiece, me thinks!
Marvellous job here, Serp!

Posted 10 Years Ago

when the flame of emotion has ebbed, there's always the blank slate to consider anew.

Trying to formulate raw emotional impression is hard. You've done it well here. But it's a double edged sword, sort of like flying too close to the sun. Expressing it like this can help unblock your creative flow, just make sure you create other impressions as well.

Posted 10 Years Ago

I don't think anyone knows what to say to words like these

maybe the words are too true and cut too close to the heart

maybe we hope that these words are the product of a moment and that the heart has healed or will soon

Posted 10 Years Ago

Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


9 Reviews
Added on November 21, 2010
Last Updated on January 20, 2011
Tags: retarded



Delhi, India

If only I could feel the touch of fresh air the sound of the tides and feel emotions pulling me back again. If only I could feel me pulling back again and feel embraced b.. more..


Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..

"Winter..." "Winter..."

A Poem by Chris