Struggles (Poem)

I'm drowning in an ocean

Struggling to breathe

The salt water reaching into my mouth

Turning my shrieks into soft moans 

Not being able to talk, as my mouth seals shut

All my emotions soon sinking

Leaving me to fall deep down in the ocean, forever

By: MrWriter (Shaan)

Author's Note

Just some thoughts and feelings to share. What do you think the meaning is?
And yes, there's a meaning to it :)

Reviews

[heartspeaks]

As the title says ..it is about struggles....
What i felt through the poem is a person who is trying hard not quitting yet poor one faces failure...in this irony his fears are stopping him to try further and he is absorbed by his own fear...

I hope i reached atleast near to your inspiration behind this poem...Even then i still wanna know what it was...

[Heaven.sky]

For me.. it is someone,asking for help.. crying and begging to be notice.. cause life is so hard, for the reason that he or she only knows, cause that person is about to give up, close of breaking and sooner or later .. that person will be gone.. :(

[Mr.Writer]

Very true...

[Heaven.sky]

Learn how to swim or the ocean will drown you.. and leave you breathless

[Mr.Writer]

Lol that's true as well...
thank you for reviewing!

[CAPOLAVORO]

To use the ocean as a metaphor is so interesting. The ocean could mean so many different things from it's color to its deepness. I like how you created the feeling of being drowned to it. :) Nice piece.

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you so much Capolavoro! :)

[Cœur]

I'm probably wrong, but I sense a metaphor in this. Like you're not really in an ocean and you're not literally drowning. It's a nice piece, I enjoyed it.

[Mr.Writer]

You're actually kinda right Couer... :)
Thank you!

[Coyote Poetry]

I liked the honest tone of the words. Many way to drown and become lost forever. You took the reader with to a dead-end. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you Coyote! :)
I

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome my friend.

[B]

Being in that ocean its the spark of life
while drowning we learn to swim

well done

[Mr.Writer]

Yep, that's very true...
Thank you!

[B]

I say it out loud only to remind myself too. I drown all the time. You are not alone

[Jessica Lima]

People look at certain things different ways, I see the ocean as salvation. In this piece it represents or causes death. Makes me a bit sad but its a great write

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you Jessica :)

[Zephyr]

I can't perceive what you really meant but I am satisfied with the literal meaning:)
The imagery created is effective and I liked the use of 'forever' in the last line.
Nice work. Keep writing, Mr writer!

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you Naat!
I appreciate it

[Island Hippy]

Aloha, this is quite bleak but poetically pretty. The salt robbing you of breath is a really uniquely spun line.
It does feel like forever at the time when you're drowning in a sea of yourself; your emotions & thoughts. These are those moments that test & build character, hopefully there's a friend right there beside you. Izzy

[Mr.Writer]

Thank you so much Island!! :)