Lonely :(

The days went fast and fast as it could,
I know that God does it all for good,
No more fun, not even a single laugh,
Feel left behind, just like the lost calf,
Not a single one to hold my hand,
Feel like left back in a lonely island,
I'm alone sadly roaming with tears, 
Kept going washing away my fears.


Just remembering the happy days,
Now there is nothing much to amaze,
Days in which I was laughing loud,
Now they seem like a passing cloud,

No phone calls from him to talk or smile,
Its my worst fate to walk alone all the mile,

Wish the coming days wont be like this,

For I truly hope my future will be a bliss.....

Reviews

[MagiCrystal]

Brokenness are real.. specially when we write about out heart.. so strong the pain...and the crying for tenderness...love it

[Poetic Beauty]

The hope is show subtly in this poem but the sadness is very profound. It is a poem that most can relate to.

[rachielle]

I really really liked your poem, although I believe it could be made better with a little editing. Number one, On the fourth line, you could have said "felt left behind" to get a better flow. Also, I noticed you used am instead of I am or I'm. It sounds similar, but it does not work the same purpose. Although, in your case, even when you used it incompletely, it still gave way to what you wanted to say. Another one error I found was "to talk loving". I don't know if you purposely put it that way, but when I read it, I found it kind of awkward. You could say "to talk about loving", or "lovingly talking"- to preserve the rhyme scheme. These aside, you really did a nice job in using metaphors and similes. Also, the consistency of the situations were excellent. This poem was sad and hopeful at the same time. Great job :D

[Bette]

This is different for you, I hope its not something that you are going through right now. Good write well done

[An owl on the moon]

There is such a sadness in the reflections of what was. You describe all this so beautifully, and the last line leaves one with a sense of hope... perhaps things will turn.. Wonderful write!

[Sofia N]

This is a great write, I like how you described the loneliness..Great JOb :)

[Ferg]

You have captured the loneliness well........

[HorrorMaster]

i feel the same way too of being lonely. Nice poem mate.

[Aussie]

Ouchhh! I can relate to this subject.
This piece was well written,had very
heartfelt emotions and great choice
in wording.I also like the length of it.

Another good write :)

[A.Lee]

Wow this is really good. As I got further into the poem I could feel my heart aching more and more. Lot of feeling and great word choice.