Cook Me

Cook Me

A Poem by ShameemAkhtar

Dab me
in the oil of hatred
And cook me
in the fire of love


Make me a ‘pakora’


Make me
A ‘pakora’


Fry me


Try me


Fly me
in the ocean of dream
Blue sea


Make me a bird
Pluck my plumes
And saddle your head


Denude me
And wrap me
Warm me in oil


Let me soak
the fire of your heart
the cholesterol of your hatred

And make me
the plum of your soul


Douse me


Pluck me


Chew me


But take me out of the fridge

© 2011 ShameemAkhtar


Author's Note

ShameemAkhtar
* Pakora - small cake

... I would rather melt in the heat of your humour and anger than freeze in the coldness of your ignorance...

My Review

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i'm going to honest on this peice . the title is good but like the other reviewer said [ Christian Thompson ] on some levels there were parts which i couldn't take seriously but it's an intriguing peice but i think it could be fleshed out more . this could of been a very captivating emotional write but it wasn't and i was slighty dissapointed as i expected something more than what i got -after reading Break The Bottle but i don't know which you did first and if i read them in the right order or whatever but Break The Bottle set the bar really high for my expectations of you . my expectations for you and you're writing have always been sky high as you do execute accordingly to your themes and your messages you want to put across but for me this was a miss . i wouldn't call what i've said negative but more neutral . i'm trying to help you and i think you said on one of your writings , that you don't like re-edit or tweak your peices which i think should change atleast on some levels because i've found with my writings , that you think something is good but when you read over it , you think why did i use that or that's bad which i think you should consider on your part as this poem could use an improvement or a sweep but it's a creative peice i'll give you that but i do understand that all poems as with books generate positive/neutral or negative reviews which is going to happen isn't it because it's reality and everyone has there opinions and obviously not all poems or books[whatever ] or going to be as good as the first or as good as the last but there's always room for improvement and i know you might be comfortable with what you have done but you asked me to review this peice and i have so it would be pointless in not intaking any of my tips .

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I gather quirkiness is part of your style from some of the works I've read, interesting write....

Posted 9 Years Ago


I will say, interesting forms of description. But yeah... ANyways, I liked it. Have a great day!

Posted 9 Years Ago


Definetly a lot of cholestrol, I can feel myself getting some kind of heart disease after reading this! kidding. Great write, and thanks for the little definition of pankora, I would have never known what that was.

Posted 9 Years Ago


Beautiful write lovely impressive method of writing Nice......

Posted 9 Years Ago


Agreed Christian,

The line 'cholesterol' puts the whole poem off beat, but I could not find another way of putting it...

And yes, like most of my poems, I am actually only playing with words and ideas...

The whole poem is about putting emphasis on the last line (take me out of the fridge)... :)

I can be weird... :)

I liked your review actually, very honest, and despite the fact that I wrote this piece, I actually do share most of your points except the point about rambling about food... It had absolutely nothing to do with that... :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


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CT
Okay, I'll admit, while this was good, I couldn't take it seriously. Like, at all. The whole "cholesterol of your hatred" thing was what really got me. I mean, maybe I'm looking at this from an entirely wrong angle, but it seems more like an angsty satire of the Anerican cultur's obbsession with nasty fast food places than an emotional piece. I mean, I guess I get what you were trying to say... I just wish you'd've found a different way to say it. Please don't take this to mean it's a bad poem- I mean, it flows nicely, the word choice is good- the whole food thing just doesn't do it for me. Hope this review didn't sound too harsh or anything. Keep writin'- Christian Thompson, Lord of Absolutely Nothing

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Very deep! Love your word pharses!

Posted 9 Years Ago


Fascinating. You always use an interesting choice of words

Posted 9 Years Ago


This was an amazing poem and such a wonder to read, the fridge is cold and I think we all want to be taken out to warm up Good write loved it.

Posted 9 Years Ago


this was very good.....i enoyed

Posted 9 Years Ago



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1089 Views
52 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on August 27, 2011
Last Updated on September 5, 2011
Tags: Cook, Love, Sarcasm

Author

ShameemAkhtar
ShameemAkhtar

Port Louis, Mauritius



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Project Manager, Catalyst Business Solutions slave of the modern world and demands of an overwhelming job... more..

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