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Cook Me

Cook Me

A Poem by ShameemAkhtar

Dab me
in the oil of hatred
And cook me
in the fire of love


Make me a ‘pakora’


Make me
A ‘pakora’


Fry me


Try me


Fly me
in the ocean of dream
Blue sea


Make me a bird
Pluck my plumes
And saddle your head


Denude me
And wrap me
Warm me in oil


Let me soak
the fire of your heart
the cholesterol of your hatred

And make me
the plum of your soul


Douse me


Pluck me


Chew me


But take me out of the fridge

© 2011 ShameemAkhtar


Author's Note

ShameemAkhtar
* Pakora - small cake

... I would rather melt in the heat of your humour and anger than freeze in the coldness of your ignorance...

My Review

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i'm going to honest on this peice . the title is good but like the other reviewer said [ Christian Thompson ] on some levels there were parts which i couldn't take seriously but it's an intriguing peice but i think it could be fleshed out more . this could of been a very captivating emotional write but it wasn't and i was slighty dissapointed as i expected something more than what i got -after reading Break The Bottle but i don't know which you did first and if i read them in the right order or whatever but Break The Bottle set the bar really high for my expectations of you . my expectations for you and you're writing have always been sky high as you do execute accordingly to your themes and your messages you want to put across but for me this was a miss . i wouldn't call what i've said negative but more neutral . i'm trying to help you and i think you said on one of your writings , that you don't like re-edit or tweak your peices which i think should change atleast on some levels because i've found with my writings , that you think something is good but when you read over it , you think why did i use that or that's bad which i think you should consider on your part as this poem could use an improvement or a sweep but it's a creative peice i'll give you that but i do understand that all poems as with books generate positive/neutral or negative reviews which is going to happen isn't it because it's reality and everyone has there opinions and obviously not all poems or books[whatever ] or going to be as good as the first or as good as the last but there's always room for improvement and i know you might be comfortable with what you have done but you asked me to review this peice and i have so it would be pointless in not intaking any of my tips .

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

haha this is brilliant. I love the first stanza, especially, 'and cook me in the fire of love'. The message is great too, well done for another brilliant poem. You really are an exceptionally talented writer, so well done and congratulations

Posted 9 Years Ago


LMAO. THIS IS SO FUNNY, CUTE AND CREATIVE"...take me out of the fridge". MADE ME SMILE. I ALSO LIKE THE FACT THAT IT HAS SUCH A DEEP MESSAGE, AND YOU CHOSE TO RHYME IT IN THE WAY YOU DID. JUST PURE CREATIVITY! TANKS FOR SHARING!

Posted 9 Years Ago



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Stats

1089 Views
52 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on August 27, 2011
Last Updated on September 5, 2011
Tags: Cook, Love, Sarcasm

Author

ShameemAkhtar
ShameemAkhtar

Port Louis, Mauritius



About
Project Manager, Catalyst Business Solutions slave of the modern world and demands of an overwhelming job... more..

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