Please Repeat

Please Repeat

A Poem by ShameemAkhtar

Let repetition
Repeat

The words
Stuck in my throat

Flush the water

Again
And again

Repeat

Until you take the words away

Throw in a hose
A pipe
A knife
Whatever

It might take

But take them out
Remove the words

I don’t want to choke

Help me blurt
Help me vomit

Let me lose some salt
Let me lose some water
Then put me on serum
Of the concoction
Of your heart secretions

Let there be a reaction
Never mind an allergy

Let me repeat
My soundless words

Until

I rid myself
Of the words
The need

Put your finger in my mouth
Hook out the words

And let me speak
The language of silence

For

I do not know how to speak

© 2011 ShameemAkhtar


Author's Note

ShameemAkhtar
Imagine you are madly in love with someone, someone with whom you have a very close friendship and with whom you can talk about everything and anything, except what you have in your heart...

An attempt to portray that. Imagine this as being a silent monologue with the other...

Now that I read it in retrospective, the poem falls short and fails to deliver that...

My Review

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Featured Review

after reading your notes about it, I re-read it and things sort of fell into place. I empathise completely as that is the situation I am in at the moment, and I don't think it falls short. The only part I don't understand is the 'repetition' theme and how that fits into the poem - explain, please? I really like this poem, it was very enjoyable and interesting to read, thank you and well done

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I wish someone would rip the word no out of my kids mouth.
This is dark in a dark ages kind of way.I see the torture chamber where steel devices are used to stop the captive from uttering one solitary word.Is this what you mean?

Posted 12 Years Ago


i think i like the ending best, that little bit of explanation, almost a softening. it's wonderful.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Sometimes the sounds of silence speak louder than words out loud
Excellent write.


Posted 12 Years Ago


No greatness in silence. Only loneliness. Need to listen with our heart and mind. Movement and action can tell a story of someone life also. I like the ending to a excellent poem.
Coyote

Posted 12 Years Ago


if you cant exchange what is in your heart ...where is your friend.

Posted 12 Years Ago


The beauty of poetry is it's mystery...i cant say that enough. It's what you make it, it could mean anything it's never right or wrong...this falls short in no way. Sure the notes help, BUT! It is what it is even without ur notes... a brilliant and creative piece of writing.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I'm not so sure your poem fell short at all. Your notes certainly gave the perspective needed to access the meaning you intended, but I think it stands on its own in any case. Well written!

Posted 12 Years Ago


you have a certain style of portraying your words, nice poem:)

Posted 12 Years Ago


I did have to read over again because I didn't know if this was in fact a romantic side point, or a dramatic side point, but now that I read your note, I think this was great. You explained in little words on what it means when you wish to say something you know you might never be brave enough to speak. Great work~

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I certainly understand the messge you are trying to convey here. For me this piece does convey that message but like Cosmic dreamer I find myself wondering where there "repetition" comes into play? I enjoyed reading this though it is lighthearted but at the same time a bit melancholy, that creates a perfect balance for me at least. I think this is a very god write...!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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27 Reviews
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Added on September 2, 2011
Last Updated on September 2, 2011

Author

ShameemAkhtar
ShameemAkhtar

Port Louis, Mauritius



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Project Manager, Catalyst Business Solutions slave of the modern world and demands of an overwhelming job... more..

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