Tear Me Apart

Tear Me Apart

A Poem by ShameemAkhtar

Tear me apart
and glue me together

So what if a few pieces
have gone missing?

So what if a few pieces
have been misplaced?

So what if a few pieces
have been put upside down?

Tear me apart
but glue me together

Turn me into a puzzle
and carve me open

Cut me
Cut me into multiple pieces

Feel free with the sizes
Feel free with the shapes
Feel free with the dimensions

Feel free

To tear me apart.

Tear me with a knife
a dagger

Tear through me with a shotgun
or your hands

Plunge your nails into my bowels
and litter out their secrets

Tear me apart
and enjoy

Enjoy the sight
Enjoy the act

Enjoy

Enjoy the feeling.

Tear me

Tear me with the laser of your eyes
the anger of your face

Lacerate me
leave your marks
leave a scar

Tear me apart

I don't like being transparent.

© 2011 ShameemAkhtar


Author's Note

ShameemAkhtar
Would that unconditional love? Any behaviour is better than being ignored...

For:
The One who tears things apart
Yet keeps everything together

The one who
Cut my heart in thousands of pieces
Because one heart couldn't love her enough...

:)

My Review

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Featured Review

Honestly, this:

For:
The One who tears things apart
Yet keeps everything together

The one who
Cut my heart in thousands of pieces
Because one heart couldn't love her enough...

should be part of the poem!

This is really good. The whole idea of breaking things to put them back together again is really good. It reminds me of how sometimes things have to be broken to be fixed... and much more. Here are a few things that I noticed. Mind you, they are just suggestions, no more.

- The "so what" part seems a little disjointed. Experiment with listing them or something, and add more, maybe some that contradict each other! That part of the poem is awesome.

- There are a few words that I think ould be trimmed down that would make the poem flow more. Example: "Tear me apart,/ but glue me back together," you don't need "but". Another: Cut me/ Cut me into pieces. In some places, the repetition is good, but others. Let the words imply and carry though and repeat themselves in the mind of the reader.

- One thing that I thought would fit was "cut me with your tongue." lol. Just a thought... sorry. There are so many things that could "cut a person apart" in a relationship. I knew someone who had to get stitches from their fiance's toe nail! Just saying.

Loved this. Thank you. The carefree, but serious implications of this poem make my heart happy. Love is a dissection table. You can only hope you don't become a Frankenstein in the end.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Can feel the pain whilst reading this poem...

It is interesting how we are able to put into words the pain we feel inside. The beauty of poetry.

I am not too impressed with the visceral descriptions though 😐

Nice poem to read

Posted 1 Year Ago


Sounds too provocative, strong, passionate, real, desireable, and simply written...
It has effect on me, the need of tearing is the need of surviving too, it`s the opposite side of the coin to make someone feel what you feel...
~nia~

Posted 9 Years Ago


Honestly, this:

For:
The One who tears things apart
Yet keeps everything together

The one who
Cut my heart in thousands of pieces
Because one heart couldn't love her enough...

should be part of the poem!

This is really good. The whole idea of breaking things to put them back together again is really good. It reminds me of how sometimes things have to be broken to be fixed... and much more. Here are a few things that I noticed. Mind you, they are just suggestions, no more.

- The "so what" part seems a little disjointed. Experiment with listing them or something, and add more, maybe some that contradict each other! That part of the poem is awesome.

- There are a few words that I think ould be trimmed down that would make the poem flow more. Example: "Tear me apart,/ but glue me back together," you don't need "but". Another: Cut me/ Cut me into pieces. In some places, the repetition is good, but others. Let the words imply and carry though and repeat themselves in the mind of the reader.

- One thing that I thought would fit was "cut me with your tongue." lol. Just a thought... sorry. There are so many things that could "cut a person apart" in a relationship. I knew someone who had to get stitches from their fiance's toe nail! Just saying.

Loved this. Thank you. The carefree, but serious implications of this poem make my heart happy. Love is a dissection table. You can only hope you don't become a Frankenstein in the end.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

your screams in this poem are heard i think anyone can realte to this :P love it !:) and it says unconditional love :P

Posted 9 Years Ago


Wow this shows a lot of pain and hurt but shows that you are ready to stand on your own.

Posted 9 Years Ago


Very well done poem that's easy to read. It all feels like a continuous thought written out with a cohesive flow.

Posted 9 Years Ago


I think this is the second poem of yours that I've read that had the word "bowel" in them lol! And on both pieces you wrote something bout plunging inside and taking it out? =o Can't remember :P I have to agree with Erica Rose when she said it's open to different interpretations. She didn't find it gory, but for me it was a little graphic and intense. But see, I think that's the beauty of it. Every word just screams intense! And it should. I never expected anything less. Good job :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Great work. Very intense but extremely well done. Keep on penning.

Posted 9 Years Ago


This definitely says unconditional love. I thought this was great. It's always risky to write about a cliche phrase such as "tear me apart" BUT you did it very well, my friend. You were abstract in your thinking and it made for a great picture in my mind. however, i didn't picture it gory. more artsy, like you were being sewn back up with out pain. kind of like a rag doll, i guess. that's my favorite part about poetry. so much is open to interpretation that everyone can paint their own visual images while reading. thank you for sharing.

Erica Rose

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Very gripping & potent.... are we not all just a million shattered bits.... trying had to stay together...

Posted 9 Years Ago



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Added on September 10, 2011
Last Updated on September 10, 2011

Author

ShameemAkhtar
ShameemAkhtar

Port Louis, Mauritius



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