Cement Me Up

Cement Me Up

A Poem by ShameemAkhtar

I am a wall

Smack me
Smack me with the echoes
Of your hatred

And let me make
Of it
A boomerang

The mud splashes your face
And reflects

Your own voice

Make me a wall
For a wall I am

A standing spectator
Watching you unfurl
The forlorn cast
Of your heart

I am a wall
Of plastic marbles
Osmotic membranes
And rock glasses

Throw me your throw-ups
The vomits of your heart

The remnants of my heart
The undigested parts
That somehow survived
The ethnic cleansing
In the bowels of love

I am a wall
So make me one

Fling things at me
And let me boomerang them back.

I am a wall.

Erect, forlorn.

Alone.
Amidst loneliness

The echoes come from you

What you see is what you threw
Get your eyes checked

What you hear is what you shouted at me
Get your ears cleaned

And then chop me down

© 2011 ShameemAkhtar


Author's Note

ShameemAkhtar
As most of the poems I submitted, this is far from a cheerful poem. Somehow I feel the end is too abrupt and I get the impression that the poem needs a bit of polishing...

Hmm... I wrote that some time back. I think I never finished the poem...

I normally never touch again what I wrote, but for this one, I think I will have to...

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Reviews

i like the imagery and the metaphor. what other way to show strength and resilience than that of comparing yourself to a wall. i personally like the end. it makes for a powerful statement, as though having proven yourself, the rest doesn't matter. so chop you down, you've already won.

Posted 9 Years Ago


Better than a fly on the wall.Be the wall.
This is the eavesdroppers dream,the stone mans vision,the unmovable destiny of fate.
Great poem.I like when you spit mud in the face with your boomerang

Posted 9 Years Ago


large chunks of this read just a bit awkwardly, but the way you create sentences is just a little magical, too. i think the ending fits well, if abrupt.

Posted 9 Years Ago


Well a wal cn be rather abrupt, perhaps the ending fits in the contexts of tearing down said wall. No holds bared so to speek. I like it. I would think it, like a wall, needs no polish.

Posted 9 Years Ago


I like this. I can see this single person, crying, screaming, hoping, begging, all through life while the wall just stands there motionless to watch it all. Emotionless while watching the emotional. Makes you wonder how much our walls really see. Thanks for the brain candy; I might chew on this a while....

Posted 9 Years Ago


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CT
Sorry, it's been so long since I've shot you any reviews. My life has been exceedingly busy, but I think I finally have time to catch up on the ungodly amount of read requests I've amassed.
So, in terms of the poem... It's decent. Definitely not your strongest Piece, though not your weakest either. As usual, you manage to touch emotions and still present a strong piece without the use of rhyming. The last line seems... Out of place. Perhaps you should find an alternative word to "chopped". It simply doesn't fit in with the rest.
That's all I got for ya now, so keep up the good work and keep writing!


Posted 9 Years Ago


Great work. Keep on penning.

Posted 9 Years Ago


You don't have to change anything, in my opinion :)


Posted 9 Years Ago


Excellent expression...

Posted 9 Years Ago


I write and what hits the page stays... reread later n go oh feel that bits s**t or go wow I didn't see that... either way kewl write

Posted 9 Years Ago



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Added on October 9, 2011
Last Updated on October 9, 2011

Author

ShameemAkhtar
ShameemAkhtar

Port Louis, Mauritius



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