Cement Me Up

Cement Me Up

A Poem by ShameemAkhtar

I am a wall

Smack me
Smack me with the echoes
Of your hatred

And let me make
Of it
A boomerang

The mud splashes your face
And reflects

Your own voice

Make me a wall
For a wall I am

A standing spectator
Watching you unfurl
The forlorn cast
Of your heart

I am a wall
Of plastic marbles
Osmotic membranes
And rock glasses

Throw me your throw-ups
The vomits of your heart

The remnants of my heart
The undigested parts
That somehow survived
The ethnic cleansing
In the bowels of love

I am a wall
So make me one

Fling things at me
And let me boomerang them back.

I am a wall.

Erect, forlorn.

Alone.
Amidst loneliness

The echoes come from you

What you see is what you threw
Get your eyes checked

What you hear is what you shouted at me
Get your ears cleaned

And then chop me down

© 2011 ShameemAkhtar


Author's Note

ShameemAkhtar
As most of the poems I submitted, this is far from a cheerful poem. Somehow I feel the end is too abrupt and I get the impression that the poem needs a bit of polishing...

Hmm... I wrote that some time back. I think I never finished the poem...

I normally never touch again what I wrote, but for this one, I think I will have to...

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Reviews

Ouch! I'd say, nice work:)

Posted 12 Years Ago


The poem remind me how we think of our leaders in the USA. We want to toss things at them. Sometime we can feel like the enemy. I did like how you ended the poem. Thank you for the excellent poem.
Coyote

Posted 12 Years Ago


I think this is a good poem with potential and you say this is a cheerful poem but when i was reading it , i felt there was nothing of it but when i was reading , i felt like it was darker poem of yours . i think it will need some polishing and in some parts , it didn't do it for but i like the toning , the wording and the meaning but something felt missing .

Posted 12 Years Ago


actually it's good as is, and a wealth of meanings are thrown at the reader, nice poem.

Posted 12 Years Ago


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Tim
Perhaps the last five lines seem a bit plain compared to the previous stanzas but overall you have a great use of diction which really stands out. You're a really good writer who delve into the richness of words from what I can see. I'll soon be reading more. Great job.

Posted 12 Years Ago


I wouldn't touch it. I rarely ever retouch my work either except to remove unnecessary words that I find from time to time. I think it is perfect as is.

Posted 12 Years Ago


I like this piece. It has a "I am rubber, you are glue. Everything you say bounces off me and sticks to you" feel to it.

I think that it is a dark and dreary poem. I know a lot of people could sympathize with this poem. You expressed the emotions very well. Great Job.

Posted 12 Years Ago


yes I agree the ending was a bit abrupt, but it also suits the poem if you understand what I mean...I love how you used something as concrete as a wall but I was still able to understand your emotions...i absolutely loove ur writing!

Posted 12 Years Ago


So full of anger! So violent! So sad!

Posted 12 Years Ago


FINISHED OR UNFINISHED I GET THE POINT. IS A POEM EVER FINISHED? BUT THIS IS A GREAT WRITE. I DON'T THINKS YOU WILL HAVE TO RETOUCH THIS. LEAVE IT AS IT IS, RAW, UNEDITED, AND "UNFINISHED". I THINK IT'S GREAT.

Posted 12 Years Ago



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1091 Views
35 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on October 9, 2011
Last Updated on October 9, 2011

Author

ShameemAkhtar
ShameemAkhtar

Port Louis, Mauritius



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Project Manager, Catalyst Business Solutions slave of the modern world and demands of an overwhelming job... more..

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