She said “I’d Rather Drop Dead than…” (THUD!)

its tarting to get deeper into the F/A/B/A/P/F writes, this is the second, im kindof doing them way out of order, the ballad and are slow comming haha

She said “I’d Rather Drop Dead than…” (THUD!)

 

This doesn’t look so good,

We’ll have to do a few more tests,

It’s growing from your chest

To the top of your spine,

But according to the chart’s,

You’re going to be just fine.

 

She said, I

Don’t know what to say,

You’ve gone so far, out of your way.

But I can’t,

Live this way, a fight from day to day.

Your hospital bed sides a cold dark place,

And I can’t stand there and look at in your face.

And I,

Think it’s time I get to leaving…

 

Well fine then honey, you hit the road,

Don’t stick around, for the rest of the show.

He’ll spring back to life,

And that’s when you’ll say,

“Oh what an awful mistake I have made.”

 

The latex, and the needles,

And looking, through  peepholes,

Medication explanations are so easily confused,

I’ll take what you can give me, as long as it’s from you.

 

So far away yeah,

Nothing really feels the same,

Heartbeats play their sickening game.

And I can’t help but breath, a sigh of relief,

You were not there, to watch me be beat.

 

Well fine then honey, I’ll hit the road,

I won’t stick around, for the rest of the show.

When he spring back to life,

Please call me and say,

 “Oh what an awful mistake you have made.”

Author's Note

please let me know what you guys think of my new writes, im in a seriously bad place in life and just want to be able to have something real. let me know HONESTLY what you guys think.

Reviews

[J. R.]

Honest, raw and emotional.

Great work

[jose]

this isn't something i can relate too, since i've never been through something like that, but it really gives an insight to what people go through in times like this, helped me get a better idea of what people go through. Good job on this poem. and sorry i don't always review your work, I'm rarely on anymore but glad to do so when I am.

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

It is very honest and real, a well written piece.

[Cascara (aka Sprint Goe..]

This is realistic and raw...
I definitely enjoyed reading this.

[Coyote Poetry]

I don't know. Good people and friends hang with in good or bad times. If I was sick? I would push people away too. Sometime we must sit with and hope for a cure or miracle. A interesting poem. Open the doors to many questions. A excellent poem.
Coyote

[Rick Puetter]

Dear Shane,

Oh how I feel your pain in this one, My Friend. I have another friend that just entered hospice with a stage IV brain tumor. I mentioned him before. He will be gone soon. He has already beaten the odds and he is one of the strongest, most heroic people I know. But reality can't be cheated. I wish it could. I know he wishes it could. His wife wishes it could. We all wish it could!

You are a hero, too, my friend. Your pain is palpable in this write. There are typos, however. I point them out since you invited me to do so. If you want more specific comments, I am prepared to provide them. You need but ask.

Now none of this affects the impact of the write. It is powerful as only one in your position can provide. I can't write such a piece. I could only write a piece imagining such a situation. So you add to the human experience. Your art is powerful and touches all of us. I bow to your noble heart and spirit. And I long for you to regain your love. I know this is amazingly hard for her. She probably doesn't have your strength, my friend. Few do. You have an amazing spirit and power.

Deepest respect. Your work has touched me deeply, here. All my best wishes I send your way.

Have the finest day and an amazing week ahead. I wish it with all my heart!

Very high marks, BTW!

Rick

[SuicidePact.]

I think its pretty good!