Hara Kiri - (200 word story)

Hara Kiri - (200 word story)

A Story by Ashwin Shanker
"

Is death the only answer?

"

Vaishnavy opened the balcony door only after repeated raps from her mother.


“What were you doing outside? Why was the door latched up?”


The girl broke down before her mother, fell onto her knees wailing her lungs out. Her mother kneeled beside her and embraced her.


“Mamma, I feel I might commit hara-kiri. It’s like something’s gotta hold on me.”


“What is wrong my angel? Is it thoughts about Chetan again? You need to compose yourself and move on. He is watching over you from above, and I’m sure he wouldn’t like to see you suffer this way.”


“Mamma, it’s a voice in my head, asking me to jump off. If you hadn’t knocked on the door...”


Her mother held her daughter’s face delicately, “Listen, you will get through this. Life will throw much worse at you as you grow older, but I will be with you through it all and I am sure he will be with you in spirit as well.”


That night Vaishnavy slept in peace for the first time in two months. She kept her ears pressed against her mother’s chest, listening to her subtle heartbeats. She knew she was protected by the divine light of her mother’s love.


The End  

© 2017 Ashwin Shanker


Author's Note

Ashwin Shanker
This is to address the growing suicide rates in India; Though the underlying causes of suicide can be deep-seated mental repressions and unaddressed illnesses. The trigger for the act itself can be something as trivial as loss of a lover. However, it is irrational and insensitive to take ones life for the same, simply because we are not doing justice to our parents/ relatives/ friends who have taken the pain to raise us/ love us; we need to turn to them for support and not believe that we are alone, because, in reality, we are not.

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Featured Review

Suicide is a serious matter. It is a topic that people hear of globally. However, many still have misconceptions about it. If the cause of suicide is depression or other mental illness, for instance, it is not just because of one factor such as the loss of a lover. The protagonist here is fortunate, first because there is someone to guide her, second because she listened. We all get it. Death is terrible. So we become confused when someone does it to themselves. So make sure to be there for someone. Don't make them feel ashamed. Help them. If you can't, listen without judgement.

Posted 6 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Ashwin Shanker

6 Years Ago

You have made a very valid point and I have edited my note accordingly, thank you for your views.
This comment has been deleted by the poster.
DiskartetHaraya

6 Years Ago

You are a responsible and concerned writer. Thank YOU for that.



Reviews

A amazing story written.
"That night Vaishnavy slept in peace for the first time in two months. She kept her ears pressed against her mother’s chest, listening to her subtle heartbeats. She knew she was protected by the divine light of her mother’s love. "
The above wonderful and kind. Thank you for sharing the amazing story.
Coyote

Posted 6 Years Ago


A great little story - although it felt funny reading hara-kiri in an Indian story - is this term used often (or at all) over there?

I like how you have written this piece in such a short space, I feel however what the mother says to bring her mind away from such a terrible act needs to be stronger - it all seems a bit easy if you know what I mean.

Saying that, I did very much like the way you finished the story - something about the word divine works with Hinduism (and yes, that is my assumption they are Hindu)

'Her mother kneeled beside her and embraced her."

This line can be edited - words not needed there.

I like reading a story of this length - thank you X

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ashwin Shanker

6 Years Ago

I completely agree with your critique that the mother's line needs to be stronger. But I can't think.. read more
A hopeful ending--wonderful. If only love could pull everyone back from the brink of disaster. Worldwide, there seems to be a degrading the value of human life. It is madness. Let us do our best to give hope to the hopeless.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ashwin Shanker

6 Years Ago

Thank you so much Samuel, I discovered your writing and loved the poem that u wrote. Please write mo.. read more
Suicide is a serious matter. It is a topic that people hear of globally. However, many still have misconceptions about it. If the cause of suicide is depression or other mental illness, for instance, it is not just because of one factor such as the loss of a lover. The protagonist here is fortunate, first because there is someone to guide her, second because she listened. We all get it. Death is terrible. So we become confused when someone does it to themselves. So make sure to be there for someone. Don't make them feel ashamed. Help them. If you can't, listen without judgement.

Posted 6 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Ashwin Shanker

6 Years Ago

You have made a very valid point and I have edited my note accordingly, thank you for your views.
This comment has been deleted by the poster.
DiskartetHaraya

6 Years Ago

You are a responsible and concerned writer. Thank YOU for that.
Yeah! exactly it's a ditch to those who actually love us!
Lovers come and go....They arent to be taken seriously :D Lol

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ashwin Shanker

6 Years Ago

Thank you very much pragati

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Added on October 23, 2017
Last Updated on October 23, 2017

Author

Ashwin Shanker
Ashwin Shanker

Calicut, Kerala, India



About
I am 25 years old, copywriter working at Mullen Lowe Lintas Group, Mumbai. I love writing and have been doing the same since six-years-old. I am a huge fan of communities of writers who support eac.. more..

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