Lover's Death

I changed it a little :)

    I look into the sunset...A shadow cast over a patch of colourful flowers. I see you. The love of my life...and my soul. There's a smile spread across your face...But the tear running along it makes me think that your smile is forced..and fake.
    I run towards you. Crushing flowers on my way. You hold your arms out. I run into them. You hug me as lovingly and tightly as you never have before.
    You whisper into my ear: "Please find someone else to embrace you, kiss you, and make love to you."
    I am confused and angry. "Why? What are you talking about? No! I won't!" I yell back. I could feel a warm tear running down my cheek. Then...I heard a gun shot.
    Your arms loosen around me as you fall to the ground, lying in a pool of blood. Your blood. What..? Then I hear another gunshot...This time, pain shoots through my body. I slowly move my hand to my chest. I feel something wet and warm. I look at my hand. "Blood..." I knew I was going to die. I bend down to your lips, for one last kiss. Our skin meets. Yours is still barely warm.
    Everything starts to become black. My body starts to lose its strength. I slip away from you and fall next to your body...and in our blood.
    Maybe we'll meet in the next world...

Author's Note

I know this isn't set out like a story should be, but tell me what you think of it, honestly
:)

Reviews

[pixieheart97]

this is s**t, get off this site

[JohnRili]

This was awesome... It's a mixture of different attributes that is forced to work together, but here; in this story, there's a feel that it worked naturally together. Nice flow of story, it's new to the eyes of readers.

[AngelBeat]

Thank you :) That means a lot..

[Craba]

This is really wonderful, I enjoyed it. you have talent.

[AngelBeat]

haha, thanks.. I wish I did :(

[pixieheart97]

Stop downing yourself Ree. You have some amazing talents! You just need to believe in yourself.
read moreStop downing yourself Ree. You have some amazing talents! You just need to believe in yourself.

poetic mess: you should check out her art too. shes just all round awesome.
heres a link to one of my many faves of hers: http://shareeza-ree.deviantart.com/gallery/34855985#/d5cx49r

[AngelBeat]

So I end up like crystal? believing in myself too much and thinking i AM too good.. :| I don't down myself coz I always believe the negative stuff i say, i down myself to people (and myself) don't think im too good.

btw.. on every deviation..to the right (when you scroll down a bit) theres a shorter link :) js hehe

[AngelBeat]

oh god.. i meant "so" not "to"

[pixieheart97]

you would never end up that bad. im actually starting to think she loves herself more than lisa does. well yeah..

[AngelBeat]

how do you know? its not like you can see the future..or can you~? ;)

[pixieheart97]

yes

[_]

honestly i never want to fall in love i'm so not getting shot...not with this brain that needs to fnd the rest of the missing elements on the periodic table >:) this was awesome i really liked it, instead of stabbing yourself in romeo in juliet we go modern and shoot each other its what all romeo and juliet couples are doing these days XD

[AngelBeat]

lol, funny thing is.. someone shot them..they didn't shoot themselves ^^ and same =3=

[Broken Wings]

This is amazing you have real talent :)

[AngelBeat]

ha..I wish I did :

[pixieheart97]

Oh Ree! Don't down yourself. You're amazing. Beleive it. NOW. Jokes. But you should believe it. You're awesome.

[AngelBeat]

Oh Alyssa! I always do, hehe. Why though? I don't want to end up like someone people who think their too good coz people "praise" em so much :T ur da awesome one :D

[pixieheart97]

I know you don't but theres a difference between being Lisa and knowing you are good at something.|
I am not the awesome ONE. I am pretty cool (lol) but I'm not as awesome as you and sarawr! ♥

[AngelBeat]

lol, obviously *rolls eyes* :) We're all equally awesome, okay? ^_^

[pixieheart97]

okay ;)

[AngelBeat]

we have finally come to an agreement :3))

[pixieheart97]

or have we?

[AngelBeat]

yes we have

[pixieheart97]

:?

[JuliePetunia]

This would be an excellent ending for a book if you continue to work with it, I would just put solid period's, dashes, or commas instead of all the "...".

[pixieheart97]

I agree but I reckon use it at the start. The umm epilogue (?). Then the rest of the book could be all about how it happened and stuff.

[Lily]

Amazingly BEAUTIFUl!!!

[Pierre Aberrance]

Though I agree with the aforementioned repeated words comment, it's right up my alley. It's dark, and it is sad.

[AngelBeat]

well...it is sad...but not for me...haha, and thanks :)

[registeredisaster]

How is it not sad?! they both get shot and die for crying out loud!! by the way, i love it!!