Lover's Death

Lover's Death

A Story by AngelBeat
"

I changed it a little :)

"
    I look into the sunset...A shadow cast over a patch of colourful flowers. I see you. The love of my life...and my soul. There's a smile spread across your face...But the tear running along it makes me think that your smile is forced..and fake.
    I run towards you. Crushing flowers on my way. You hold your arms out. I run into them. You hug me as lovingly and tightly as you never have before.
    You whisper into my ear: "Please find someone else to embrace you, kiss you, and make love to you."
    I am confused and angry. "Why? What are you talking about? No! I won't!" I yell back. I could feel a warm tear running down my cheek. Then...I heard a gun shot.
    Your arms loosen around me as you fall to the ground, lying in a pool of blood. Your blood. What..? Then I hear another gunshot...This time, pain shoots through my body. I slowly move my hand to my chest. I feel something wet and warm. I look at my hand. "Blood..." I knew I was going to die. I bend down to your lips, for one last kiss. Our skin meets. Yours is still barely warm.
    Everything starts to become black. My body starts to lose its strength. I slip away from you and fall next to your body...and in our blood.
    Maybe we'll meet in the next world...


© 2012 AngelBeat


Author's Note

AngelBeat
I know this isn't set out like a story should be, but tell me what you think of it, honestly
:)

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Reviews

this is s**t, get off this site

Posted 5 Years Ago


This was awesome... It's a mixture of different attributes that is forced to work together, but here; in this story, there's a feel that it worked naturally together. Nice flow of story, it's new to the eyes of readers.

Posted 9 Years Ago


AngelBeat

9 Years Ago

Thank you :) That means a lot..
This is really wonderful, I enjoyed it. you have talent.

Posted 9 Years Ago


pixieheart97

9 Years Ago

you would never end up that bad. im actually starting to think she loves herself more than lisa does.. read more
AngelBeat

9 Years Ago

how do you know? its not like you can see the future..or can you~? ;)
pixieheart97

9 Years Ago

yes
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honestly i never want to fall in love i'm so not getting shot...not with this brain that needs to fnd the rest of the missing elements on the periodic table >:) this was awesome i really liked it, instead of stabbing yourself in romeo in juliet we go modern and shoot each other its what all romeo and juliet couples are doing these days XD

Posted 10 Years Ago


AngelBeat

9 Years Ago

lol, funny thing is.. someone shot them..they didn't shoot themselves ^^ and same =3=
This is amazing you have real talent :)

Posted 10 Years Ago


pixieheart97

9 Years Ago

or have we?
AngelBeat

9 Years Ago

yes we have
pixieheart97

9 Years Ago

:?
This would be an excellent ending for a book if you continue to work with it, I would just put solid period's, dashes, or commas instead of all the "...".

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

pixieheart97

9 Years Ago

I agree but I reckon use it at the start. The umm epilogue (?). Then the rest of the book could be a.. read more
Amazingly BEAUTIFUl!!!

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Though I agree with the aforementioned repeated words comment, it's right up my alley. It's dark, and it is sad.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 10 Years Ago


well...it is sad...but not for me...haha, and thanks :)

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 10 Years Ago


How is it not sad?! they both get shot and die for crying out loud!! by the way, i love it!!

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 10 Years Ago



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2608 Views
13 Reviews
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Added on October 22, 2011
Last Updated on January 4, 2012
Tags: Death, Fiction, Lovers
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Author

AngelBeat
AngelBeat

New Zealand



About
(Lets change this again~ -_-) I don't come on here as much, rarely ever do now. I am more on dA. I like to do art stuff. Thats it ._. *** I'm sorry if you don't like my stuff :) I don't like it eith.. more..

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