to who I once was

regarding love

when he asks to separate the cheque,
go your separate ways.

his tongue will deceive you,
arouse you,
like poetry to your ears.
believe nothing beautiful that leaves his lips.

when he tells you that you’re pretty,
ignore the glimmer in your stomach.

your body is the battleground,
so you defend it with your mind
as he offends it with his words,
his hands,
his lies.

when he asks to take your hand,
decline
and take your own.

that man will be the first to explore you,
trace down your body,
over the curve of your breasts
to the sharp ends of your hips
and the world between your thighs.

all men after him will be tainted with his scent
for it was him who shook your earth
and crumbled the mountains
you had made love out to be.

there will be men who promise you all.
the ones who could love you,
and they will bore you and guilt you
with their desperation and overbearing need
to prove to the world
that they are the capable, they are the lost kind,
the dying art.

and then there will be men who are murderers
of hope.
and you will love them, and they will consume you.
they will pull you into their trenches and douse your mind
in the tar of their damaged egos
and they will invade your brain like cancer
and kill all of the cells that are telling you
to run.

do not fall in love with them.

on second thought, do.
but only one of them,
once.

and then there will be him.
the one who has changed you for good.

when he offers to give you the world,
tell him you’ve already made one of your own.

when he says to you,
“my father abandoned me so I have abandoned love”
give him no excuse.

when he complains about the woman
who has sacrificed her life just to
have him stay in hers,
tell him to gauge out his lustful eyes.

when he pours you a glass of sangria,
dump it down the sink.

when he touches your body,
give him the back of your hand.

when he tells you that you’re a w***e,
tell him that he has children.

when he asks that you tell no one,
laugh in his face.

when he claims you’re a liar,
show the world your truth.

your body will be violated,
your mind will be abused.
your heart will be wrung out like a wet cloth,
but your gut will pave a way for the light to creep in
on the days when life seems better spent
in sleep.
get up.

you are worth more than dinner.
you are worth more than being called ‘pretty’.
you are worth more than the men who claim to be strong,
because you are, in fact, stronger.

and when it seems that the clouds are taking over,
that the tide is getting too high for shore,
remember that there is no man that you
should love
not even an ounce more
than yourself.

because no one will feel like home again.

Reviews

[Bohrium Guy]

A beautiful display of emotions in poetry. Your imagery is dazzling and your choice of context filled my mind with images and feelings. I think you really did an excellent job of capturing the moment and your ending line was grand. Keep up the good work and thanks for sharing!

~Rob~