Not Me

A hollow deep inside,

Difficult to scrape out, now is a part of me,

Growing everyday,

I wonder is it hollow within,

Or diving am I in the waterless sea.

 

Hollow and shallow,

Is what I am now,

In search for a soul,

Within and outside me,

 

A soulful soul, a fancy me,

Nevermind, even if its not me!

 

 

Reviews

[Helen]

I find this really painful to read - want to come an rescue the writer! Even if the last lines sound like optimism, I cant bear that you could settle for not being you or that you couldnt know that the writer of this poem could not possibly be hollow inside!

Wanted to review one of your poems because I love your name. Floating on the feathers of a dandelion! Love also that you are free and unbound and live with the wonder of your imagination

[Dan Herah]

I really like the absence of complete thoughts, just fragments here and there, it reflects the emptiness you are trying to describe. I do have two suggestions though, perhaps drop the letter "A" from the beginning and start it with "Hollow" instead and the second is adding an apostrophe in the last line, "it's" instead of "its"