Ode to a Butterfly

Does nectar grow less sweet with passing Time?
Your unrest causes winds to slow their pace
The beating of your wings in pantomime
Now paints your tale of ephemeral grace
Ignoble glutton, laying green to waste
But hiding dreams behind a devil's face
A treacherous wait, a caterpillar's haste
One day to be absolved of its foul crime
To savour long and deep, Redemption's taste

Then patient weaving till the world is sealed
And all of its travails are shunned by silk
In pale confines a soul entombed and healed
An infant feeding on Compassion's milk
Like Tutankhamen's crypt, a sleep of kings
Embracing pleasures of a different ilk
A prayer to solicit a gift of wings
A prowess yet unknown to be revealed
A promise of unbridled wanderings

And what became of that eternal thirst?
Full seven days of dancing on the breeze
The fleeting days too short to fear the worst
The heart too warm for lakes of lust to freeze
But now the beating of that heart is slow
Performing in the shadows of the trees
The age-old sacred rite of letting go
Oblivious to springtime's rich outburst
In tune with twilight's ever fading glow

And so you're tired of your resplendence!
As your mind spins another chrysalis
A shattered shell remains of what was once
A flowing fountain of untainted bliss
And so you choose to kiss the earth goodbye
A transcendental metamorphosis
To break the shackles of the deep blue sky
To taste Ambrosia and to steal a chance
The breathing of Existence to espy
 

Author's Note

Tutankhamen was an ancient Egyptian pharoah, or king. Egyptian kings were mummified and buried in burial chambers inside pyramids along with several of their valuable possessions.

Reviews

[Aleeya R]

This is absolutely beautiful. I read it multiple times in one sitting. It reminds me of John Keats' Ode to a Nightingale - one of my favorites, and I am guessing yours as well? Not only did you emulate his style of writing, but you took it and made it your own. I'm impressed with your use of meter (I still struggle with it, which is why I usually stick to free verse) and with the imagery you used to bring your poem to life. You possess incredible talent, and I do hope you keep writing - I am looking forward to reading more of your work!

[Augustus]

Thank you so much for your astute and generous review, Aleeya! Yes, I am a big fan of Keats, and shades of the characteristic melancholic tone of his poems seems to have made its way into mine. I struggled with meter myself for many years before I got the hang of it. But it was quite rewarding to get there eventually. Metered verse gives a different kind of pleasure from free verse. I've tried both and enjoy both. I'll look at your works soon. Thanks again!

[Aleeya R]

You're welcome! Yes, Keats' poems are lovely, I too am a fan. I agree, metered verse is pleasing to the ear, though difficult to write. Hopefully with time I will be able to produce a poem in meter. Until then, it's free verse for me - but I appreciate and enjoy reading all types of poetry. Anyway, can't wait to read more of your works! You're welcome again, take care!

[Rita L. Sev]

This is an amazing write. You have blended metaphor and personification into a beautiful ode indeed.

[emmajoy]

If i'd not seen your name beneath the title of this poem, i'd have thought it belonged to one of the Greats, tis truly wonderful! And now - my goodness.. i have to give you reasons for using the word 'wonderful': firstly you use what i call melodic metre to the nth degree, make the words sing yet in a naturally restrained voice; you thread words in a near perfect way, ' And what became of that eternal thirst? ~~ Full seven days of dancing on the breeze ~~ The fleeting days too short to fear the worst ~~ The heart too warm for lakes of lust to freeze ~~ But now .. ' You've created a poetic myth about a beautiful creature: its coming and going, its fragility and power, its brightness and fading - the circle of its brief life. And, from start to finish laid your own special place in poetry. Most importantly, your words make me weep .. silly me.

[Augustus]

Speechless, Emma.... :) Can't believe my words actually had the power to make you weep...wow...its the greatest compliment a poet could ask for... I must have told you before that 11 years ago, my English teacher asked me to abandon structured verse in favour of free verse. I ignored her advice. Today, so many years later, I feel my decision is vindicated. Can't thank you enough. :)

[emmajoy]

Sometimes we knew selves better than .. and you certainly do. :)

[Zahra]

Amazing sir, what a beautiful ode!

[Augustus]

Thank you! :)

[Ruth]

I sit here, transcended, in awe! What a beautiful stunning piece of literature, it really is...
This is all consuming, wow...one of the best pieces I have read of late :)

[Augustus]

Ah Poppy! So glad you dropped by! And even gladder that you liked it so much! :)

[Sam]

good job!

[asdarkeyesclose]

'To savour long and deep, Redemption's taste'

the journey of the butterfly, exquisitely crafted each stanza almost in a breath. i liked the enjambement here, it keeps the rhyme flowing nicley and i think it shows a certain maturity to move away from all the stresses on the last word of the line which a lot of rhyming poetry tends to do. the imagery sits well with the old world nature of the poem taking that familiar and very universal theme of time and painting its transience as symbolized by the short life of the butterfly, the different stages of its existance, each very unique.
the last stanza was my favouirte- that reaching to the sky representing freedom and something essential to the essence of the butterfly, changing from the earth bound state to its true and higher self. i thought you captured something highly sublime in this description. fantastic.

[Augustus]

Thank you for your lovely, insightful review Beth!As you say, the theme is universal, so it was crucial for the ode to have its identity. I particularly enjoyed your technical comments on the structure. I do believe that writing a true ode is perhaps the greatest challenge in composing structured verse. It has great subtlety and complexity in form as well as narration. To have negotiated that tightrope with some degree of success itself is quite satisfying.

[kublakhan27]

Wow, my breath has been unequivocally taken away by this piece...this is a real ode, and they're not easy to come by these days, maybe because they require so much patience and discipline to perfect...you've captured that Romantic voice and structure as well as any modern writer can...really great work my friend :)

[Augustus]

Thank you so much for your kind words! You are spot on about the patience and discipline. Odes are notoriously difficult to pull off. They are complex by nature at many levels. But few forms of verse, free verse included can match the impact of a well-written ode. That is the reason why we still remember the great does from the old Romantics...They are magical. They are timeless. If I can achieve 10% of what they did, I'll consider myself a good poet.

[kublakhan27]

I couldn't agree more...I've written many pieces inspired by various works from the era, but have never really sat down and tried to compose and ode before...I know I mentioned this before, but I just seem to relate to these guys more than anyone from any other literary era...nobody since has merged nature with soul-searching like these guys/women did...I'm going for that ten percent as well ;)

[Augustus]

Well, if you have time some day and you contemplate something for long enough, you can try writing an ode on it the next time. :) There is a certain...satisfaction .....that comes with writing them, irrespective of how they turn out. Luckily for me, my last couple of odes have been extremely well received. :) With the talent that you have, I'm sure you'll write some bloody good ones!

[kublakhan27]

Thank you my friend, those words do inspire me greatly :) Another reason I haven't done a proper one is cuz I've been trying out other forms like Sonnets and Sestinas...there is always something rewarding about writing in a fixed form and looking back at the results cuz when you've written in fixed forms, you know you've done your homework...thanks again for the support :)

[Augustus]

Ah! I'd love to read some of your structured verse. Drop me a message if there's any particular one that you'd like me to read. I'll probably do it tomorrow though...Past midnight here and I'm off to bed...

[kublakhan27]

Will do :) It's 4pm here and I do have some things to do but I'll take a look for ones you might like^^

[The Mask]

Thank you Augustus for this gift of excellence in poetry. I strongly believe we are here for the give and take of corrective criticism, however I'm at a loss to offer you any.

I would like to know how and why you chose 9 lines per stanza. It worked well.

Forgive me, I see down below that you addressed my question.

[Augustus]

Thank you for your immensely kind words! I am so glad you asked that question! That is precisely what I want people to do! I feel my comments below only provide a partial answer so I'll elaborate on the structure. The main idea was to construct a self contained, cohesive stanza that exuded gravity, with a touch of wistfulness. I therefore went for iambic pentameter. My use of rhyme was directed at knitting two parts of the stanza together. The rhyme scheme is ababcbcac. Lines 2-4-6 and lines 5-7-9 rhyme. 5 lies between 4 and 6, effectively forming a link between two sets of lines. Since 5-7-9 forms an alternating triplet of rhymes, it makes sense to end the stanza at that point. The other option might have been to add a couplet at the end and make it 11 lines long, but I thought that would be redundant. Within this rhyme scheme, a 10 lined stanza wouldn't have emerged naturally. You might also have noticed that the rhymes are not heavy in the sense that no two consecutive lines rhyme. This is so because I feel excessive rhyme would have been at odds with the mood that I aimed to create with the poem. And thus emerged the nine-lined stanza. :)
Forgive me for my rant! And thank you once again for the love and care that you have shown my poem!

[The Mask]

Not a rant at all. This is the main reason I came to the WC. To learn. It's fascinating to see the thought and effort that you put into "Ode". As much as I enjoyed "Ode" I must admit I appreciate your reasoning more. With your permission I will save the poem and lesson to review for my own edification.

[Augustus]

By all means, you may keep my poem and my words if you find them useful. I have also come to WC to share and learn as much as I can. Thanks once again.

[Robbie~xoxo~]

I agree with Ken, you are a writer from another time...

This is touching, deeply sad, and glorious in the presentation...
One must ponder on this, for you have written a complex piece... there are twists and turns within every line...
I admit I had to read this aloud to feel the journey...to peel away each metaphorical layer...as if unfurling the butterfly's wings to find her secret of why she is hiding dreams behind a devil's face...

"A shattered shell remains of what was once
A flowing fountain of untainted bliss
And so you choose to kiss the earth goodbye
A transcendental metamorphosis
To break the shackles of the deep blue sky"

Intriguing write!...Beautifully written...~xo~:)

[Augustus]

Thank you so much Robbie! :) Thanks especially for spending so much time on it and taking the effort to unravel its message. Stylistically, you and I are probably 200 years apart, so I'm delighted that you can still find beauty in my verse. :)

[Robbie~xoxo~]

Well we will meet in the middle of a century.. (how about that) lol

As for unraveling your write, it was a pleasure...I'm a romantic...although my writings are of modern style,
I love "Pride and Prejudice", so this is not out of my realm... :)

[Augustus]

It certainly isn't. I know you're very versatile. :) There is a reason I asked you to read my poem. I don't send messages to all my friends. Only to those whose judgement I respect and whose opinions I value. :)