The Tombstone of Time

The Tombstone of Time

A Poem by Augustus

These were the meadows where I played
The grass was tall, the grass was green
And on the singing breeze it swayed
When years were chaste and days serene

This was the earth, I know the smell
The smell which filled me when it rained
And yet as far as I can tell
The bond with her has now been strained

Here lie my roots, here I have grown
When sunlight still could court the leaves
Like vacant dreams the days have flown
Now Time stands still and my heart grieves

The sun still shines, I feel no heat
The rain pours down, but I am dry
A dreary walk on a darkened street
A shadowed thought, a wistful sigh

For every second breathes its last
Alike its worse and better half
Upon the Tombstone of our Past
Memories are the Epitaph





© 2010 Augustus


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The structure is more, well, Augustan (abab) than Romantic, but the theme is definitely Wordsworthian - a loss of the natural awe of nature, or a loss of innocence in general, mingled with a Keatsian swan dive into mortality. The meter and rhyme were suberb, very well crafted. I no longer bother to scan you, which is the greatest compliment I can give a formal author, and which makes my reading that much more enjoyable. I did notice a curious pattern though, not just in this work, but in your others, and that is that you tend to end many of your lines with verbs...on the one hand, it lends the line more gravity and symmetry, but on the other hand, it can lead to monotony. This particular piece is not the latter, but something to keep your eye on. The formalist book advocates a changing of grammatical structure to vary it up lol
The fourth stanza is my fav, and to be honest, I thought the last stanza kind of anti-climaxed from it, perhaps due to the change from the natural landscape to the inner one, though I do appreciate the connection. Maybe another stanza, or refrain, to loop back to nature? Odd, this is almost the opposite of my "Hymn to Nature" even though it shares many sentiments...

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

when sunlight here could court the leaves...beautiful discription...such an easy read and very enjoyable

Posted 7 Years Ago


Really beautiful piece. Amazing.

Posted 7 Years Ago


You hide your light under a bushel, my friend. This is one of the best things I have seen on WC in the five years I've been here. I couldn't say it better than Rick below, so I'll leave the intricacies of the mechanics to him. Suffice to say that I can see the inspiration from the English Poets here, an inspiration I share. Beautiful poem.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Augustus

7 Years Ago

Thank you so much, David! I am honoured!
Wow, what a dream! So beautifully written. Such flow! Raw, emotions just flying off the page

Posted 7 Years Ago


Augustus

7 Years Ago

Thank you so much, Emily! :)
Dear Augustus,

Okay My Friend. This is a remarkable write and wins highest marks from me. This is among the best I have read on WC. Fantastic meter, especially in the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th stanzas, where the opening line has consistent and repeated 4-4 iambic meter. My favorite, and the pause between the first 2 feet and the second, was oh, so powerful. Brilliant, and all within a consistent 8 syllable, 4-foot iambic line. And the switch to the 4-4 iambic meter with pause in the second line in 1st and last stanza surround your words with eloquence.

A rare poem with powerful meter, rhyme, and message. This is among the best on WC. My deepest congratulations to you!

A pure privilege to read! Flawless and incredibly artful.

My very best regards,

Rick

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Augustus

7 Years Ago

Wow! Thanks Rick! I'm quite overwhelmed by the accolades! And thanks especially for spending so much.. read more
Rick Puetter

7 Years Ago

Dear Augustus,

You are a consistently fine poet. And this is among your best. And wha.. read more
Augustus

7 Years Ago

All smiles! :) Thanks again!
Again I think it has been wonderfully written.. Memories and days we have lived truly looks so beautiful when we look back from the present perspective.. It is an outstanding poem :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

his si the best in my opinion of all I have seen of your work the ABAB rhyme following a 8 syllable count is sublime and a favorite of mine.The story it tells of longing is grandiose So many never think this deeply.You ably tell a heart felt emotional bond

Posted 8 Years Ago


This is absolutely captivating. You are so deep and serene with your work. Some of the lines blew me off completely. Brilliant outline and focus. Wow.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

A mesmerizing write. Truly.

A lot has been said about the romanticism this poem depicts. I shall not have to praise this beautiful write, for poems such as this deserves to be inscribed into memories rather than be commented with mere words.

I specially loved the last stanza.

For every second breathes its last
Alike its worse and better half
Upon the tombstone of our Past
The memories are Epitaph

Gr8.

Posted 9 Years Ago



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Added on June 23, 2010
Last Updated on August 11, 2010

Author

Augustus
Augustus

Cambridge, MA



About
My name is Shreyas Gokhale. I have a PhD in Physics from the Indian Institute of Science and am currently a Post-doctoral Research Fellow at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. However, I guess.. more..

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