Over The Horizon

Over The Horizon

A Poem by Shreyas Tripathy
"

The life and dreams of everyone who holds back something for some reason ...

"
Waking up to another dream
Holding on to nothingness in the dark
Knowing not where I am going
The fear of unknown seems so stark

A struggle to free the world
That lies strangled in lies
A struggle to free the freedom
From the clutches before it dies

Now that's got my tails up
I will win back the bout
For the sake of the fallen warriors
I will let the demons out

The Want to fly like a feather
Without a destiny, a goal, a dream
The Want to flow like a river
With the strength to change course of my stream

Is leading a misleading life and chasing the clouds
Like reaching out for the horizon ?
Searching clarity for endless doubts,
Trying to touch the stars and hold the sun ?

If sanity becomes the crime, insanity the cure
I'd rather not live at all
Because the monsters that live around
Love you see you break, see you fall

Now that's got all mixed up
I am about to breakdown
But for the sake of my grace
I will never wince, never frown

© 2012 Shreyas Tripathy


My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review




Reviews

Nice poem. I would put you in the finals but i can only pic four pieces of writing and though your writing is fantastic it does not fight the main them. Fights. don't let not winning stop you from writing because it was an amazing piece of work.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Shreyas Tripathy

7 Years Ago

Thanks a lot for the review amd the motivation !
A struggle to free the world
That lies strangled in lies
A struggle to free the freedom
From the clutches before it dies

This has a certain depth to it here, very nicely written and presented.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Shreyas Tripathy

7 Years Ago

Thank you :)
Amazing bit of writing, a little more order among the chaos wouldn't hurt though, my favourite part would be

"Now that's got my tails up
I will win back the bout
For the sake of the fallen warriors
I will let the demons out"

Posted 7 Years Ago


Shreyas Tripathy

7 Years Ago

Thanks for the review and suggestions ! I'll reflect on it.
I am very impressed with this writing. My favorite verse is, "the want to fly like a feather - without a destiny, a goal, a dream - The want to flow like a river - With the strength to change the course of my stream. very nice.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Shreyas Tripathy

7 Years Ago

Thank you so much !
If sanity becomes the crime, insanity the cure
I'd rather not live at all
Because the monsters that live around
Love you see you break, see you fall

I really loved this part, amazing.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Shreyas Tripathy

7 Years Ago

:)
I enjoyed this piece of writing although I found it a little confusing in in the middle. However overall I loved the emotion of the writing and especially liked ' for the sake of the fallen warriors i will let the demons out' Also the idea of being a river and able to change course - brilliant :)

Posted 7 Years Ago


Shreyas Tripathy

7 Years Ago

Thank you :)
Okay, I see you've deleted my last review and I've received your message to re-review it. I will do so but unfortunately, I have not brought good news with me.

"A struggle to free the world
That lies strangled in lies
A struggle to free the freedom
From the clutches before it dies"

This part in your poem makes absolutely no sense. I think the fact that I gave you a somewhat negative review made you panic and edit in a hurry, making you entirely unconscious regarding what you were writing.

I like that you fixed the rhyming issues of without and out. I think it just feels like a big jumbled mess at this point. It's inconsistent and just kind of bugs me that it went from an "okay" poem to a "what is going on here?" one.

Don't pressure yourself into making it perfect for everyone's tastes because everyone has different tastes. Write so that YOU are okay with it. I just gave my opinion last time.

Cheers.
37/100

Posted 7 Years Ago


Shreyas Tripathy

7 Years Ago

Firstly, your review got deleted by mistake. I didnt do because you gave a negative review. i joined.. read more
gloomysundays

7 Years Ago

I didn't think it was because i gave you a negative review. I assumed that it was because you wanted.. read more
Shreyas Tripathy

7 Years Ago

Its not a problem :)
"A struggle to free the world
That lies strangled in lies
A struggle to free the freedom
From the clutches before it dies"
Fantastic......This piece of art made u a winner in a recent contest & deservedly so!!...very good!!

Posted 7 Years Ago


Shreyas Tripathy

7 Years Ago

Thanks a lot !
This comment has been deleted by the poster.

Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

595 Views
10 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on October 1, 2012
Last Updated on October 10, 2012
Tags: horizon, no limits, freedom, inspiration, limitless, infinity

Author

Shreyas Tripathy
Shreyas Tripathy

Jaipur, India



About
I am Shreyas Tripathy, a student who is pursuing engineering in the discipline, Computer Science Engineering. I have always had a creative side in me. Its just that i never had a platform or the.. more..

Writing

Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..