Devil In Heaven

I began my journey as an angel,

Sweet and kind,

To all I behaved the same,

The only thing I wanted,

Was to shine

Shine so bright,

That the moon would carry my reflection

So high,

That I would be the attention

As I walked on my path,

I knew I’d succeed,

I knew that,

I knew I’d succeed slowly.

*STORM ARRIVES*

That was when everything changed,

A storm came between me and my path.

It was jealous,

It was cruel,

It was fate and,

It was ridiculous.

No matter how much sweet I was anymore,

No matter how much I tried to work hard,

The only thing the storm did,

Was to tear my heart apart

Slowly, I lost my brightness,

Slowly I became pale,

Gradually I lost my kindness,

And further failed

The way I entered like an angel,

Will be the same way I’ll be exiting

But the only difference would be,

I would exit like a devil from hell like heaven.

 

 

 

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

I may agree with you my friend.
"And further failed
The way I entered like an angel,
Will be the same way I’ll be exiting
But the only difference would be,"
I liked the above lines. I believe I would be a poor angel. I could be booted out also. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote
I would exit like a devil from hell like heaven.

[iamshadowine]

Thank you so very much :)

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.

[Michelle Rachel]

To think about...Life, it's scary, dangerous, but wonderful at the same time. What is life without the trials, pain, to make us grow and mature, and to harden us, to teach us so we can teach others.

[iamshadowine]

Surely agreed! Thank you!

[Michelle Rachel]

You're welcome...

[Jackie]

... And the devil, was once an angel. The devil was/is a fallen angel. A troubling path. Complexion has changed. Maybe not for the best. Interesting read.:-)

[iamshadowine]

Thank you very much

[Elizabeth J. Gelinger]

A good piece of poetry, you explores a few elements to bring life to the poem and it worked nicely. We all think we should be good until the storm hits us, then we just somehow lose our definition of good. Really enjoys this one.

[iamshadowine]

Thank you :)

[Max Meunier]

wow, this feels very relatable. i like the specific implementation of the devices used. everything felt perfectly appropriate. i felt the use of the storm itself as an actual element of the poem itself to work out rather interestingly.
i think that you captured a feeling that seems to permeate all lives in their continued existence and you have done so in a way that speaks directly to the essence of the experience. nicely done!

[iamshadowine]

Thank you so much :)))) means a lot

[Emily]

I can't tell you how much I loved the first line!
Keep it up!!

[iamshadowine]

Thank you!

[kurohana]

This is good. Reading it gave me chills.

[iamshadowine]

thank you! :)

[ElliottKM]

I think the four lines after the storm arrives that describe what it was are the strongest lines in this poem. You build to them quite well, and the ending is succinct. Keep up the good work.

[iamshadowine]

Thank you:)

[CassiopiaBlack]

This is a great poem and I'm happy to have read it. The line "I would exit like a devil from hell like heaven." gave me chills.

[iamshadowine]

Thank you :)

[Kim]

Intriguing, I like how you build up the story in the first verse and then how everything gradually falls apart in the second. Really good work! :D

[iamshadowine]

Thank you :)