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One more Chance

One more Chance

A Story by shweta
"

The story narrates the conversation of Jake and her lover (and killer) Bertha.

"
Since evening, it was raining heavily outside. In her room, Bertha was busy finishing her work. She was busy preparing spaghetti when she felt someone’s presence in the room. A pair of eyes was staring at her, peeking from behind the closet. With anticipation, she turned around. Her lean figure was frozen at its place. Jake stood there, hands crossed against his muscular chest. His innocent face, his killer smile took her attention off his tall, broad frame. But his piercing, accusing eyes disturbed Bertha. She wanted to keep looking at him, but could not face the blame in his eyes.
Jake was her partner of seven years. But he was no more alive. Bertha had learnt to live with the fact that Jake would never return. No one but she knew the reason of his unexpected demise. She had kept herself behind the curtains for over a month. Though guilty gnawed her sometimes, but she knew self-preservation was a necessity for her. With Jake standing in front of her, she could not comprehend anything.
Detecting tension on her face, Jake smirked. He made his way to the dining table coolly. Drops of sweat appeared on Bertha’s forehead. Jake filled a glass of water and offered it to Bertha. She did not move. Jake opened his mouth. She waited. He said, “I am not coming back, Bertha. You can relax. But you have to answer me before I leave. Come, sit here.” His voice was cold and his face, stony. Terrified, Bertha sat on a chair opposite to Jake’s.
“Did you love me, at all, or it was a game-plan?” Jake asked, cocking his head slightly. Behind the anger, there was thin line of pain in his eyes. Bertha knew this too well, in spite of what she did. She looked into his eyes and determinedly nodded in affirmation. The pain in his eyes increased slightly. Tears welled up in Bertha’s eyes as well.
“Then, why did you do this to me?”Jake asked. Silence pursued his question. Rain pattered on roof and against window-panes. The clock moved rhythmically. But, Bertha did not speak. Jake could not wait anymore. He thumped his fist on table and asked Bertha to spill the beans.
“I did it to save you. I had to kill you before they could reach you.” Bertha replied in a low voice.
Perplexed, Jake demanded explanation. “Whom are you talking about? How does killing save me? Speak the whole truth now at least. My spirit won’t rest until it gets to know the reason of your betrayal.”
“I did not betray you. I never loved anyone as I loved you. I loved you d****t.” Bertha shouted back at the spirit in rage. Taking a few deep breaths, she resumed, “You want to know why I killed you. I’ll let you know. To whom else, can I confess my crime?
“I am an "honorable correspondent" for DGSE (French Intelligence). I did not want to risk lives of those involved with me. Before you happened to me, I never thought that I’ll fall for anyone. I was reluctant to live with you but emotions took over and I had to give in. I decided to live with you as long as I can keep you safe. With you, I was cautious every time we went out, even if for a stroll. I could not have let anyone know my weakness.
“With every assignment I worked upon, I had a list of enemies trailing behind my life. Secrecy and self-preservation were only tools to survive for us. Of late, we had some problem at work. There was a mole in our cluster, but we had no clue, who it was. A month before you were killed, I was informed of the mole through a text. I was gathering information about him but he was faster. He had more information about me than I had about him. I could have had his identity exposed but he had my vulnerability exposed.
“I had to secure your life before I can kill him. I tried to relocate you to a safer place but you refused. I could not have revealed the reason. So I kept looking for other measures. My world was breaking apart in front of me. And I was desperate to keep it together.
“When we were driving back home that night, he was following us. I pulled up at filling station just to check on him. I knew the reason behind his grin very well. He was out for the kill. Soon, he was driving besides you. As he pulled out his gun, I knew I can no longer stay hidden. I reached for my pistol secretively while keeping you busy talking so that you don’t look his way.
“He aimed his gun at you. I unleashed my weapon to shoot him. The triggers were pulled at both ends. He missed his shot as I steered the car to right. But my bullet hit you in the head. I killed him but I could not save you.
“Even now, I am being hunted. But I do not care anymore. In fact, I am expecting it to happen soon so that I can get to meet you again.
“What I did, cannot be forgiven. But someday, I will pay off my crime and may be then, I would apologize to you.
“Will you accept me then? Will you give my love one more chance? ” Bertha looked up with teary eyes.
A calm smile spread on Jake’s face. His figure was dissolving in the air.

© 2012 shweta


Author's Note

shweta
This is my first piece of writing, in relevance to a writing prompt by WD. Constructive Criticism is welcome.

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Reviews

That was amazing. But I must agree with Krishnan, " spill the beans" is a bit childish, and it doesn't go with the theme. But nonetheless it kept my attention and was amazing.

Posted 7 Years Ago


I think u need to concentrate on tone.Like in"... asked Bertha to spill the beans".
Usage of "spill the beans" here makes your writing appear very weak.Work on using the appropriate tone and language.Keep writing.Ok job for a first time write up.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

thank you all.. thank you @mehul for your advice. i am just starting out and i need advice that can help me work on my skills.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Well, it was good overall, a point where you really need to concentrate is adjectives, mind them, do not use them at all sorts of wrong places. Rest is well written...


Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Nice job! Kept my attention really well :)

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I have to agree with Roxi, kept my attention.
Cheers

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

WOW, such a wonderful write, you kept me in suspense. I'm not that good at Constructive Criticism...But I did enjoy your imagery and detail. Very nicely
written.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on April 2, 2012
Last Updated on April 2, 2012
Tags: fiction, romance.

Author

shweta
shweta

jaipur, India



About
i am just a novice, beginning to write as words and thoughts evade my mind. more..

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