spring meadows

in the spring meadows

i see some running shadows ,

all over the spring meadows.

butterflies everywhere, 

as long ,as i see in air.

smell of flowers ,over the seas,

in all continents, across the fields.

all animals coming ,

out of their longing sleep,

with new freshness as we see.

a small child just came to me ,

and asked ,"will you play with me",

i said ,"yes i will be ,

what you want me to be".

i wish i could live that day,

again and again,

in every second in every minute of my life,

can it be that happy day.

Author's Note

do not hesitate i want true review.

Reviews

[indian beauty]

This is definitely a 100 point poem, I felt all warm and wishful inside reading it. You've written an AMAZING piece.

[Crimson Apples]

I read your review on the bottom, and just a few ways you could rewrite a few sentences...?

Um... I didn't really want to, but here are some ways you could rewrite a few sentences, just for future reference.

Though I prefer it the way it is now, cause it's so... FABOO!!!!

I could practically feel innocence radiating through the poem, and something akin to longing at the ending. DAng dude, I absolutely loved this poem 0.o and oh my goodness, the way you described the meadow, I instantly had a picture in my head, of warm sunlight and happy things. I love the way you wrote of a child, it made me think of how we should often find more time to spend doing the things we love, without stress or worry plaguing us.

The last line made me think of Archana's review. You did a wonderful job expressing yourself =)

But onwards from my rambling...

*their running shadows,
all over spring meadows.
butterflies were/are everywhere,
*flying in the air.
or you could say
"as long as I look in the air"

*the smell of flowers ,over the seas,
in all continents, across the fields.
*all the animals coming
*out of their long deep sleep,
with new freshness as we see.



*i wish i could relive that day,
again and again,
*and every second,
in every minute of my life,
*can be that happy day.

PS. This is definitely a 100 point poem, I felt all warm and wishful inside reading it. You've written an AMAZING piece.

PSS. All the line's I've changed have a star by it.

PSSS. Thank you for entering my contest by the way! It was my first one... so I pretty much expected no one to enter xD It made me really happy you did.

[siddhi]

thankyouvery much for your suggetions but i would like to tell you one thing that
1st line should be i see some running shadows or some thing like that because acc.to the peom i was not know whom i was talking about
and that last line i wanted it in question from only
that's why i have wrote it like that
other suggestions i will refer to them as soon as i edit the peom
thankyou for the suggestions here
and as it comes to the contest i was my pleasure entering it i also felt that when i created my firt contest
read more review more


your frnd
siddhi

[Crimson Apples]

Yeah, okay! If you ever make your own contest, I'll most definitely enter and spread the word.

[siddhi]

thankyou crimson apples

[Crimson Apples]

Anytime man.

[Archana]

Nice piece Siddhi.......throughout the poem I had smile on my face...a simple, sweet poem which makes us realize...however busy and important person we become ...there's always a child in us........excited to see butterflies, play with flowers etc. Thanks for showing us this inner child in us.......

[siddhi]

THAT'S WHAT I WAS TRYING TO EXPLAIN
THANKYOU VERY MUCK FOR READING AND REVIEWING

[Jane Taylor Hardy]

A soft and ethereal beautiful nostalgic piece.

[siddhi]

thankyou jane

[Tej K]

Another lovely, happy poem. I enjoy these light pieces. Wouldn't it be nice if every day could be happy like the one you have described! :) Well done.

[siddhi]

thanks,for your review

[siddhi]

if anyone get something gramattically wrong please tell me