At The Top Of The Mountain

A Poem by Panda

I've been trying to climb up this mountain for awhile now
But I feel I've finally lost all hope
There's no reason to keep climbing anymore
Why did I start in the first place?

I don't remember

It gets harder at night
Because I lost my flashlight quite some time back
And in the rain I lose my grip
And sometimes I can't help but slip
Back down again
And I'll have to rest
Before I'm back at it again

Why do I keep trying?

I thought I heard voices
Telling me to believe in myself
To push a little harder
But that was so many years ago
They're voices have been long lost to the wind

Who were they again?

My aging heart has become bitter
Tired and empty of eagerness
No longer happy of each certain step
Just sad it's not my last
But still I continue my way up
Because it's what the younger me wanted

Why did I want that?

Now I can't help but ponder
If I simply let go of the crevice my fingers cling to
And falling all the way down
And never getting up again
At least I'd be on solid ground
Something I've grown to miss
The darkness at the bottom used to be scary
But now I wish for it back

It's the honest truth

How far have I climbed
Since the last time I fell down
I've lost track of time
Surely by now I can call it quits
I doubt anyone recalls my name
No ones waiting for me
This has become so tiresome
I want to give up
Because I know
That in the end I'll be alone
Just like how I started

It's the same as it was back then

So if anyone ever finds me
Just know that I did my best
I went as far as I could go
But I can no longer keep this up
I'm another nameless person
Who tried but couldn't succeed
Please don't be ashamed of me
That I couldn't make the climb
But I wonder if you climbed yourself
I highly doubt you have

There's no need to keep climbing

Because when you reach your arm up for one last time
You'll find yourself alone
There won't be anyone smiling
Happy that you finally made it
There won't be anyone at the top with you
You'll be staring down at the world around you
In lonely solitude

It's time to let go now...