Evelyn - Crackers

Nano Fantasy character #3

There was a loud crack. A crack of a cracker. Then an annoying sound of a chew. Chew chew train of the Doritos feast annoyed Evelyn more than anything else in the world. It was the annoyance of the disgusting pig she had for a father. She didn't love him. He was one of a kind a true scoundrel. And she blamed him for the death of her mother. Even though her mother actually died because of Evelyn herself. Because her case was the 0.1% of failed births since the beginning of the 21st century.

Her father was lying on the couch. Eating tortilla chips and drinking beer while the wall played an action movie full of explosions and gunfire. Evelyn didn't want to be in the room. But nothing ever brought joy to her. Not as long as she could remember. She could read a book, but she would get lost between the lines and think about her pathetic life instead. She could draw, but she would probably end up drawing something stupid or maleficent. No, she truly wished that she were never born. At least she wouldn't take away the life of her own mother. What an irony it was, that her mother gave her life, the life that was precious to her, to someone like Evelyn, a person who despises life and wishes to be dead. Not really wanting to die. But just the struggle of existence itself, unbearable. She didn't want to exist. Instead she'd like to be in a form of eternal sleep, one without dreams. Just drifting through the dark void. Shapeless form in an ocean of nothingness.

There was no light to shine on her and make her smile. There was no chivalrous knight to save her. She didn't want that. Evelyn just wanted it all to end. But - and she hated herself for that even more so - she was a coward, unable to take her own life. The idea of suicide was revolting to her. On one hand she found it selfish on the other a brave thing to do. To overcome all the biological bonds a person has to life, to cut all the inborn threads that force us to stay alive. But she would do no such thing. Evelyn's head hurt, she stood up and went to her room, lied on the bed and buried her head in the pillows. They were soft and smelled of lavender, too soft, too nice. She didn't deserve them. She didn't deserve comfort. She should only experience pain. She's worthless. She's nobody. No one would miss her. Actually, the world would be a better place without her.