She Loves Me ...She Loves Me Not

plagiarized cliche' with what i mean to be haiku ;)

she loves me      - 

  darkly dawn into grey

                                  oak limbs creak awake the day

                                  slightest light blinding

she loves me not -

  saffron crocus spreads 

                                        mirage  horizon blazes 

                                        pink and orange collide

she loves me      -

             mismatch of color 

                                        intoxicating wonder

                                        clematis climbing

she loves me not -

high noon in the sky  

                                    straight up blistering 

                                    monkey face orchid 

                                     

she loves me    -

low down cooling quiet

                            dusk approaches West Mountain  

                            lotus flower floats                               

she loves me not -

   fire born must go out

                                      nightshade turns to face the moon

                                      warming lights go out

she loves me        -

black velvet cloaks sky

                              mauve carnation vows deeply

                              dreaming bell flowers

                             

Author's Note

fun with flowers and haiku ... constructive critique always welcome ;)

Reviews

[Chris Shaw]

Hello Mr E. Your title grabbed me big time. Took me right back to when I would pluck the petals off daisy heads) replacing the she with a he though) On reflection how cruel that was. I really do like the haiku/senryu structure. There is so much that can be said in 17 syllables and far more between the lines too. These take skill to do well and yours are exceptionally colourful, flowery and scented. I have to say I do love the heady, intoxicating perfume of garden flowers. Imagery from dawn to sunset, complete with mountains and moonlight. A different kind of love poem, so very creative and very much enjoyed. I lingered here quite a while. Hope you are well my friend across the pond while Miss Covid is calling on us.

Chris

[Einstein Noodle]

thank you so much as always Christine ... you have a knack for seeing and feeling the whole of poems .. couldn't be more gratified for your review .. you are a dumplin' :) and very talented .. thanks so much for taking time to read and let me know your thoughts ... yeah .. Covid ... we need to remain updated on true substantiated facts about it but honestly .. i am pretty sick of so much coverage .. it sadly reminds me far to much of the body counts during the Viet Nam War ...we can't stay huddled in the cave any longer ... we risk life and limb every day .. all day ... before, during and after Covid .. we are well ..thank you .. and praying the same for you, yours and us all .. another day in the jungle right?! ;)))))))))))

[Chris Shaw]

Ha ha. Dumpling....

Hey fatty boom boom, sweet sugar dumpling.....

Can you remember those lyrics Mr E. You have put a wide smile on my face.

On a more serious note, I am so sorry that present circumstances are a reminder of Vietnam :(( That is a perpetual ache I would imagine.

[Einstein Noodle]

ahahaha no ... i'll have to look that one up ;) we have well enough ache and pain .. i think it the far better teacher than joy however ... so glad we can chat ... right here at the Cafe' .. i went on a bit of vacation .. just returned a couple days ago and finally am back in my groove ... lots of reading to do :) love on ya!

[sharonlee]

Intriguing and delightfully descriptive!
I enjoyed this, the actual process of reading adds an interesting impact.
x

[Einstein Noodle]

:) thanks sharonlee! :) happy you liked a day in a life ... love and joy my friend! :)
E.

[Moonie]

This has to be the most creative poem I've read on here, and definitely one of the best poems I've ever read. It's so open to interpretations. It makes me think of the circle of life, how the flowers correspond to the different hours of the day, and how these flowers would come and go with the seasons, just how our doubts about love and other life decisions come and go. It isn't unfortunate to get those doubts, but rather it's unfortunate if we aren't able to resolve them by nightfall. :))

[Einstein Noodle]

yes it is moonie! :) resolution has lots to say about life doesn't it?! :) thanks for taking time to read and i am so happy you enjoyed this .. you captured the day intended with sensitivity and made it yours .. what more could i ask .. so glad you are back and stopped by dear friend!
E.

[Sami Khalil]

Very creative sir Einstein Noodle and worthy of applause in the poetic sense. The questioning is vital, the maturity and realization from younger days till the seasoned years with multi-dimensional experiences, the correlation between sights and sounds, smells and so forth with a relationship and or certain individual, the meaning, meanings flowing through our understanding that we tend to hold on. You are amazing sir...

[Einstein Noodle]

i have been on the road for a bit and touching down on your words make me feel so fine :) ..https://youtu.be/DFKH9ZGkMaM ..keep staying safe Sam!
E.
ps. thanks for reading and reviewing

[Sami Khalil]

Wow. Good singer and songs. Handsome man like yourself...

[Einstein Noodle]

ahahahah bro love eh!? :)))))))))))))))

[Sami Khalil]

:::::::))))))))))))))

[John the Baptist]

Really liked the way the descriptions matched each "She loves me" and "She loves me not." Glad the former prevailed in the end.

[Einstein Noodle]

:) .......well ... that is the hope and the dream eh!? thanks for visiting John .. glad you enjoyed!
E.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

left side: simple human conundrum
right side: the complexity of nature at its best with your soft, flowing language,
between the lines resolve yet questioning, as the human tries to understand what he sees...it's pure personification on the right side, and on the left the human thinking only of himself and what may or may not be given to him.

Bravo! Mr. E.

[Einstein Noodle]

Sir jacob! this is the best review i have received since i have been here ... in the sense that it is based on ideas and concepts that come from an educated, experienced teacher ... i truly am humbled and ... well .. full of glee you laid out my attempt with clarity and sensitivity ... i am just humbled ... and learn from this review .. glad you enjoyed ... peace and love and health
E.

[Lorry]

You don't need to pull the leaves from daisies to know she loves you E, how could she not with such a beauutiful description of a day in the life of your thoughts? (I'm sure you only count out the loves/ me nots on the petals and leave them intact too for others inspiration.)
I can almost smell that garden from here 😀

[Einstein Noodle]

well ... she says i cough and hack like a braying mule, can't hear, can't drive and i fart .. i don't see it .. but hey ... we all have our opinions eh!? seriously .. thank you for taking time Lorry and your encouraging review ... so glad you enjooyed the garden :)
E.

[Lorry]

Sounds like it must be love to me 😀

[Lydia Shutter]

The hours of the day accentuated with love and the beauty of nature. Your Haiku are so lovely, E....so filled with precious imagery and the syllable count is spot on. She loves you in the moonlight, in the morning, and at dusk....what a romantic thought. Wonderful work. Lydi**

[Einstein Noodle]

awwwwww .. so pleased you followed the day through Lydi ... i am glad you enjoyed reading ... thanks always for you reviews .. be well .. stay safe! love and peace
E.

[Paul Bell]

How would this work in the 21st century where kids wouldn't know a petal from a pedillo. Though that might be a bit harsh. Could this work by text. Do you love me, or do you not.'' Reply.'' I hate your guts. Then she goes and marries that other guy, it will never last ten years later. lol.
Like the idea of Haiku's in your presentation. Really should pop into the neighbours garden and grab a flower and practice my petal plucking, though I don't know if this breaks the restraining order. Let's give it a try, what's the worse that can happen.

[Einstein Noodle]

go for it Paul ... be daring! :))))))))wear a mask!:)))))))))))))
what does "pedillo" mean ... i confess i don't know the difference either .. couldn't find it a-googling ... your scenario cracks me up ... kids today can be like that can't they?! at least its honest and/or sharp sarcasm ...
some of our State Governors have gone crazy with power and people have been ticketed and some arrested for infractions of the Gov. will ... i am more frightened how quickly populations accepted these restrictions and loss of economy without a fight ..than i am of catching of giving covid19 .. but that's just me .. and my reclusive type life hasn't needed to change much at all ... i am fortunate ... thanks for reviewing sir .. as always .. peace and joy!
E.

[Paul Bell]

Reclusion is the new going out. We better not complain, I hear in Qatar they hang you for not wearing a mask.

[Einstein Noodle]

i fear this will get more crazy before better ... but ... this too will pass eh!?

[.]

A nicely painted series of haikus, dear E! Quite inventive with the addition of the side "cliches" as you call them. Luckily for you the final petal plucked is in your favour! Well done on extending the series and keeping them all in a cohesive whole. A task that many others fail to achieve. Its a picture painting in words and most suitable for those used to staring at walls these past few months. Much enjoyed! :)

[Einstein Noodle]

thank you so much Jamilla ... of course she loves him ... he's going back to dream land as night falls :))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) so glad you enjoyed! it was a fun challenge for me ... a bit cerebral but the haiku allow for that while still being romantic in Nature ... peace and joy! thanks again for all your visits actually! :)
E.

[Patricia Wedel]

dear E... I thought of Cary Grant calling Joan Fontaine “Monkey Face” many times during the Movie “Suspicion”. An endearing Romantic movie with a somewhat happy ending after many mishaps). Your verses are perfect matinees each and every one that would surely result in “she definitely does” love you.
Spring fever has you in a love chain of Daisies.
truly, Pat

[Einstein Noodle]

ahahaha i will have to check the movie out .. those are two classic stars! your reviews are always so poetic and encouraging .. i actually thought of you as i tried to use the different flowers' meanings in the ups and downs ;) somebody loves each of us eh!? :))))))))))))) your words are so full of grace .. thanks ever so much for reading my stuff Pat!
E.