Drink and Pour

Drink and Pour

A Poem by Silver~
"

This is a poem I wrote a few months ago, Warning there is one curse word lol

"
Drink and Pour 

All the lies, all the stories
you made up for the world to hear,
How about a glass of reality 
instead of your chosen beer.

It's just one more bottle,
give me more, more, more
I can't handle another greedy demand,
another sip, another pour

Alcoholics Anonymous?
Well that's a bunch of s**t
The man on the corner knows more about you
then you would care to admit.

Drink it like it's medicine 
to "heal" your "broken soul"
The definition of broken is staring at you,
watching alcohol take it's toll. 

© 2014 Silver~


Author's Note

Silver~
I hope you enjoyed it! This is one of my favorite's i wrote for some reason so yea :)

My Review

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Featured Review

Hello!
Straight up, this got rhythm, good message, and originality.

My issue is that its too short however :p ¨
I mean this isn´t you average formal poem, it seems like a rap or a speech for someone... I doubt that this is enough. If this truly upsets you then express yourself more. Explain how it damages the people around the character, and emphasize that there is no happy ending for this....

"give me more, more, more" ------ Because your goal here is to create emphasis, do not be afraid to add 'and' in the end. --- 'more, more, and more'



Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Silver~

4 Years Ago

Thank you for the feedback! I understand what you mean when you say it is quite short, it is from mo.. read more
Robert Gluzman

4 Years Ago

For sure! What I usually do, is work on the same poem for a few days, let it rot a few weeks then co.. read more
Silver~

4 Years Ago

That sound's like a good plan lol, maybe I should think of doing that :) I'll be sure to take your a.. read more



Reviews

I can really relate to this my step father is an alcoholic and really enjoyed this poem, i can see you get inspired easily by social issues. I really enjoy your poems.


Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Silver~

4 Years Ago

Thank you so much, I can relate as well, sadly, and I'm sorry about your stepfather! I do get quite .. read more
Jazzy

4 Years Ago

My thoughts exactly. :)
Hello!
Straight up, this got rhythm, good message, and originality.

My issue is that its too short however :p ¨
I mean this isn´t you average formal poem, it seems like a rap or a speech for someone... I doubt that this is enough. If this truly upsets you then express yourself more. Explain how it damages the people around the character, and emphasize that there is no happy ending for this....

"give me more, more, more" ------ Because your goal here is to create emphasis, do not be afraid to add 'and' in the end. --- 'more, more, and more'



Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Silver~

4 Years Ago

Thank you for the feedback! I understand what you mean when you say it is quite short, it is from mo.. read more
Robert Gluzman

4 Years Ago

For sure! What I usually do, is work on the same poem for a few days, let it rot a few weeks then co.. read more
Silver~

4 Years Ago

That sound's like a good plan lol, maybe I should think of doing that :) I'll be sure to take your a.. read more
Wow, this is such a wonderful poem! It's so well written. I can definitely see why this is one of your favourites! I loved the whole rhyming scheme and everything flowed so nicely together. I especially loved the very first stanza ^^

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Silver~

4 Years Ago

Thank you so much

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150 Views
3 Reviews
Added on October 28, 2014
Last Updated on October 28, 2014
Tags: drinking, alcoholic, alcohol, alcohol abuse, beer, sad, poem

Author

Silver~
Silver~

ellicott, MD



About
I enjoy writing, especially poems and I decided to share them with others who will help me become a better writer and hopefully enjoy my writing! more..

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