Starcrossed

Starcrossed

A Poem by William
"

(sounds like suffering)

"

" hear me, " she whispers,
with her arms twined around me,
graceful as the moon.

she sounds like a love song,
a whispered serenade.
she sounds like the sigh of trees in summer,
the gentle murmur of the ocean.
she sounds like birdsong in the early morning,
like the rustle of the day break.


she sounds beautiful.


" tell me i'm beautiful. "
a choked breath.


she sounds like a tale of sorrow,
as bittersweet as the falling leaves.
she sounds like a muted breath,
a quiet passing from minutes to years.
she sounds like a broken woman,
too old to be so young, too young to sound so old.
she sounds like years of hurt and anger,
years of loss and years of loneliness.
she sounds like choked sobs
and lungs straining to breathe,
like tears hitting the pages of her favorite book,
like shattered glass.


she sounds like suffering.


she puts her hands on my face
and our lips meet.
" look at me, " she whispers into me,
"  see me. "


she looks like a lost soul, looking for forgiveness,
buried in the drifting snow.
she looks like hope, but she's lost her faith in the world.
she looks like desperation,
struggling for another breath.
she looks like ice, rigid and cold.
she looks like steel, iron-willed,
but unbending, and thus broken.


she looks winter.


she looks like the glint of cat eyes in the black and blue.
she looks like the shimmer of dragonflies in the sunset.
she looks like a raging flame, wild and terrible.
she looks like a metaphor,
effortlessly languid, with scared eyes.
she looks like black nights by the midnight sea,
like the roar of the wind
and the taste of forbidden desires on the tongue.


she looks like passion.


she looks so beautiful in the firelight,
and just the sad sight of her tightens my chest,
so broken, but so beautiful.


she hears children's laughter,
but it is a bitter stone cast into the empty pit
of her frozen heart,
because she doesn't want to hurt enough to feel.


she hears things that others don't
beautiful things and terrible things

things she wishes she could forget,
things that lull her to sleep.


her eyes are pleading,
her long fingers suddenly fumbling,
fluttering nervously over my collarbone.


she feels like yearning,
like a unrestrained child struggling to be free
dangerously alive.
she feels like hope, the hope of impossible things
of what could be.
she feels like redemption, like a second chance

forgiveness all the scars, for all the pain.
she feels like soft nights and gentle caresses,
and promises that can't be kept.


she feels like my last hope.


her head rests on my chest again.
i can feel her heart beating,
pounding,
i can feel her arms around me,


she feels like bitterness,
like too many years in too little time.
she feels like a thousand different stories.
she feels like a porcelain doll,
broken in too many places to fix.
she feels like she's holding herself together
in the gasping breaths between silent screams.
she feels like weariness,
like brittle bones, and creaking joints,
like she's already been through too much.


she breathes into me, whispers,
" touch me. taste me. "


she tastes like sedated sorrow
as bittersweet apologies tremble between her lips.
she tastes like tears, like salt in the wound.
she tastes like crippled beauty.
she tastes like resentment,
because she won't let herself forget.
she tastes like bruises,
more than aware of her own battered body.
she tastes like another broken promise.


she tastes like pain.


but she tastes like the memory of morning,
like black coffee and cinnamon.
she tastes like fear and pleasure, like an escape.
she tastes like possibilities, like wishes and hopes.
she tastes like dreams, like a dream i won't wake up from,
like a dream i don't want to wake up from.
she tastes bittersweet,
where the only bitter is the tears sliding down her cheeks
and the sweet is all the softness of her.
she tastes like secrets hidden in gentle curves.
she tastes like freedom, like ecstasylike exhilaration.
she tastes like rapture in the heat of the night,
as my heart pounds to the beat of her breaths.


and she tastes like victory,
because she is finally mine.

 

Adore

Nov 7, 2010


 

You!

Feb 5, 2011


 

THE BEST

Feb 17, 2011


© 2011 William


Author's Note

William
yeah, it's long. i'm aware.

checklist:
format? is it cliche?

emotion? is it believable, or is it unrealistic?

imagery? too much description? are the words vivid?

storyline? what do you think is going on?

My Review

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Featured Review

she hears things that others don't"
beautiful things and terrible things"
things she wishes she could forget,
things that lull her to sleep.

I love to hear a man describe a woman. You do it with such tenderness and insight. Personally, I could not find any fault with this write. Is there such a thing as too much emotion or description? I suppose for someone that avoids emotion it is too intense. As for me, I feel your words deeply.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 9 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

It seems this one has won well-deserved accolades! Wonderful! First, though it is long, the format helped break it up into moments of reflection, making it easy to read, and the rhythm is so flowing. I don't think it is cliche' at all, unless you think all love poems are cliche'. But the emotion is fervent, passionate yet observant of the other, refreshingly so. It's so believable - I've known a few relationships with just this dynamic, the damaged person (perhaps both are) and the persuer triumphant - maybe getting more than he bargains for.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Very beautiful! I loved how you used a different format for poetry. This was a great read for me. You describe the pain of this broken girl so well. Good job and keep on writing!

Posted 9 Years Ago


LOVING..lovely portrayals and phrsing of beauty..

Posted 9 Years Ago


Excellent flow and description! The storyline was perfect! Sounds like love to me!!

Posted 9 Years Ago


Oh wow. (in a good way)
A very interesting tone and mood set here.
It is very real, and I love the format of it.
Great write!

Posted 9 Years Ago


Yes, it is very long. But with all I've read, I feel happy to know that you succeeded and have become the victor. The emotion is brought out in full. Imagery is nice, however I find it to be too descriptive as it lengthened the poem greatly(but that doesn't mean its a bad thing. You can never really make a long enough poem :)). Maybe if you could rhyme your words it would sound better and make it a smooth read. The words used are good and you've penned them well. I really like the way you bring the essence of the soul of this woman and show us all how pure she is.

Posted 9 Years Ago


Stopping by to show my appreciation as my FIRST PLACE winner for my "emotional poetry" contest.

This poem touched me deeply. This to me is an IDEAL poem that has touched on ALL the senses with eloquent words that were touching, poignant, breathtaking, emotional, free flowing as if it were created specifically to flow freely from our lips and touch vividly to not only our ears but our senses.

The format fit this poem like a glove, and never ever think that a poem could possibly be TOO vivid! Thank you for sharing this poem in my contest :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Wow, this is undoubtedly one of the most eloquently beautiful things I have ever heard. I loved reading this, it was a true pleasure. I love the uniqueness of it and the beautiful flow of it. A very nice piece indeed. I think the emotion in it is wonderfully described and the imagery is great, keep that creative spirit within your grasp, don't let it slip between your fingers.

Posted 9 Years Ago


Structured quite nicely, flowed easily with
perfect imagery…I could go on, so nicely
done…


Posted 9 Years Ago



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1067 Views
15 Reviews
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Shelved in 5 Libraries
Added on October 17, 2010
Last Updated on March 28, 2011
Tags: love, starcrossed, lovers, night, woman, man
Previous Versions

Author

William
William

Atco, NJ



About
Hello, my name is William and I'm a write-aholic. My first poem ever was written in January 2009, so I'm still pretty rough. Nothing is perfect, but I'm addicted to writing, and I do enjoy doing it.. more..

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