what you deserve.

what you deserve.

A Poem by Hannah Berry
"

i feel like this is for anyone who i've ever hurt, anyone who wanted something that i could not give them. i'm sorry, and you deserve better than me.

"

you deserve to feel ultimate happiness,

whatever that is

if it’s where the sky and ground gently kiss on the horizon

if it’s where the bird sings her lovely little tune up in the glorious oak tree

or if it’s a rocky road, with tire marks staining its surface;

marks left to never be forgotten

nature’s scars.

you deserve to feel the joy

the joy that i cannot give you 

but maybe

the whispering trees can

or maybe the moon watching over you as you sleep

protecting you and taking my place

in your life, can.

you deserve so much better

than my fragile weak heart 

body 

soul

mind

could ever 

give to

you.

© 2013 Hannah Berry


My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

This is quite a good poem. Your imagery is spot-on. I don't know that you need that isolated 'can' - I know you did that for effect, but because you went without punctuation and capitals (which is fine), it was a bit disorienting. I would suggest putting the word at the end of the previous line:

protecting you and taking my place
in your life, can.

You get your emotions across well in this piece, and that is the most important aspect of poetry. Well done!

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Hannah Berry

6 Years Ago

Okay, I will revise! I completely agree now that I look at it that way. :) Thank you



Reviews

Not sure why my mind went to this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bkb6Xmhp_XE

Posted 6 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is beautiful. and very uplifting. :)

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is quite a good poem. Your imagery is spot-on. I don't know that you need that isolated 'can' - I know you did that for effect, but because you went without punctuation and capitals (which is fine), it was a bit disorienting. I would suggest putting the word at the end of the previous line:

protecting you and taking my place
in your life, can.

You get your emotions across well in this piece, and that is the most important aspect of poetry. Well done!

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Hannah Berry

6 Years Ago

Okay, I will revise! I completely agree now that I look at it that way. :) Thank you
Eloquent and beautiful usage of words. Short but very sweet. Job well done.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

That is such a lovely write, I enjoyed reading it a lot. It really touched me.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

you well questioned about what you think and what you thought in a past days...great write once again :)

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

348 Views
6 Reviews
Rating
Added on June 8, 2013
Last Updated on June 8, 2013
Tags: deserve, hope, happiness, sad, depression, protection, love, honestly, nature, scars, joy, life

Author

Hannah Berry
Hannah Berry

Austin, TX



About
Hannah. 9teen. Hazy days and lonely nights filled with writing and trying to set my mind free. I'm a writer, not the best.. but I write what's on my mind. It doesn't always make sense, I don't a.. more..

Writing

Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..


Almost Almost

A Poem by Johanna


~Power~ ~Power~

A Poem by Robbie~xoxo~