Internet interlude

Internet interlude

A Poem by Stephanie McCants
"

An internet conversation

"

INSTANT MESSAGE between two strangers



Man: MMMmmmmm.

Woman: MMMmmmmm???

Man: I bet you are HOT!

Woman: No, it is winter and I am too cheap to run my furnace.

Man: I like women who play hard to get.

Woman: I do not play video games.

Man: What?

Woman: I AM SORRY I DID NOT KNOW YOU WERE HARD OF READING. I WILL WRITE BIGGER FOR YOU , I DO NOT PLAY VIDEO GAMES.

Man: You are messing with my mind ?

Woman: NO I TEND TO LIKE THINGS TO BE WELL ORGANIZED AND CLEAN.

Man: The game I want to play is not a video game it is a game of imagination called cybersex.

Woman: I DO NOT HAVE ANY GAMES OF IMAGINATION AND I BELIEVE CYBERSEX IS A PSP1 GAME OR IS THAT CYBERCHASE?

Man: No it is a game where we have sex over the computer.

Woman: THAT WOULD BE AN AWKWARD PLACE TO HAVE SEX I WOULD MUCH PREFER TO HAVE SEX IN A BED.

Man: No , NO, you are getting it all wrong. You tell me what you want to do with me while I get off.

Woman: GET OFF THE COMPUTER ? OR ARE YOU STUCK IN A HIGH PLACE? I WOULD OFFER YOU A LADDER BUT I DO NOT HAVE ONE YOU COULD ASK THE FIRE DEPARTMENT THEY HAVE LOTS OF LADDERS.

Man: Look I will show you how it is done. I am unbuttoning your blouse and caressing your hard n*****s.

Woman: I AM NOT WEARING A BLOUSE AND THE SWEATSHIRT I AM WEARING HAS NO BUTTONS.

Man: I am burning up inside help me out here.

Woman: OHHHH, SO YOU HAVE INDIGESTION.  I HAVE SOME ROLIADS I COULD GIVE YOU.


Man: Are you always this difficult? !

Woman: I HAVE BEEN NOTHING BUT HELPFUL. I  DID OFFER YOU MY ROLAIDS I CAN NOT HELP THAT I DO NOT HAVE A LADDER BUT I HAVE NO USE FOR ONE.

Man: You are a riot !

Woman: NO I AM IRISH AND SCOTTISH. A RIOT IS A LARGE MASS OF ANGRY PEOPLE.

Man: Would you like me to give you multiple O's?

Woman: THANKS BUT I ALREADY HAVE MULIPLE O'S THEY CAME WITH THE FONT PACKAGE ON WINDOWS 98.

Man: What??!!

Woman: I AM SORRY ARE YOU HAVING TROUBLE READING AGAIN I WILL TYPE LARGER FOR YOU. YOU KNOW YOU SHOULD REALLY CONSIDER GETTING GLASSES YOU COULD HAVE LAZY EYES.

Man: I give up you win!!

Woman: WOW REALLY I DID NOT KNOW WE HAD STARTED PLAYING A GAME. WHAT WAS MY SCORE?

Man: I have to go my head hurts now.

Woman: OK GOOD BYE. YOU KNOW BAD EYES CAN CAUSE HEADACHES SO YOU REALLY SHOULD MAKE AN APPOINTMENT FOR THE EYE DOCTOR.

Man: Good riddens!!!!

Woman: HOW RUDE AND AFTER ALL MY HELPFULNESS YOUR JUST PISSED BECAUSE YOU LOST THE GAME.

Stephanie Jean McCants
Copyright 2006 Stephanie Jean McCants
 

© 2015 Stephanie McCants


Author's Note

Stephanie McCants
ignore grammer and spelling it is what it is

My Review

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Featured Review

lol this reminds me of conversations with soemone else who became angry because i was not interested in them sexually or any other way...they still cause me problems sometimes and i think you know of whom i speak..i was the woman in that situation for the sake of this context..lol
naturally being what it is i loved it. it is full of great wit, and i love wit..lol
Now i know you will have some smartass comeback so i shall await it..lol

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

oh my lawrd that was amazing~ I haven't laughed that much in a long time~! You did a wonderful job writing this!

Posted 10 Years Ago


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JRB
Been there, heard this, thats the facts behind space talk and openness.
Jan/uisiom

Posted 12 Years Ago


wow! I love this! This is hilarious! I just kept laughing as i scrolled down! Very funny! Can't wait to see more!

Posted 12 Years Ago


lol this reminds me of conversations with soemone else who became angry because i was not interested in them sexually or any other way...they still cause me problems sometimes and i think you know of whom i speak..i was the woman in that situation for the sake of this context..lol
naturally being what it is i loved it. it is full of great wit, and i love wit..lol
Now i know you will have some smartass comeback so i shall await it..lol

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Very cute. :)

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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313 Views
5 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on April 1, 2008
Last Updated on July 18, 2015

Author

Stephanie McCants
Stephanie McCants

Visalia, CA



About
I am a creative person who loves to write horror and comedy. I also enjoy painting various subject matter, and drawing cartoons. I started making money at writing as a teen selling essays I wrote for .. more..

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