GUILT

 It was just one night,

just this one time

and then I thought

it would be out of sight, and out of mind,

my god,

i barely even knew his name

I never thought it would

haunt me

And taunt me

and stir up  such pain... 

 

It just felt

so damn good

for that moment

to be so strongly desired

i didnt think

how now 

 it would turn me into

this revolting liar

 

oh how stupid of me

to ruin for myself

what once was  sacred

i did'nt even put up a fight

i just let him take it

 

and now i feel

dirty

and  filthy

tarnished,

and stained

rotten and awful

remoseful and shamed...

 

And now

I  live each day

with this festering secret

paranoid,scared

and desperate to keep it

 

and i constantly ponder...

if you can see it somehow,

when you look into  my eyes

and hear in the words

that I speak to you

 nothing but lies?

and

maybe you will  question

what this all  might be about?

and then you will  look at  me

with skepticism,

suspision and doubt....

 

and maybe you can smell it,

stinking,

 and reeking

as a ghastly stench

leaking  out of my pores,

Or observe it

 coroding my skin,

like a blistering,

bubbling

flesh eating sore

as

every day

it takes away from me

more and more

and then it beats me,

and pounds me

like the waves on  the shore

 

so now do I

bear a bitter  taste,  

that is rotten and rancid

putrid and vile

as i go on living

with this

wretched stealth

and  apalling guile,

just like a slimy

cold blooded

dreadful reptile...

 

and can't you realize an imposter!

when you look at my face

and sence

that my sincerity

and my virtue

have been wongfully replaced

and that  my purity

and rightousness

were corruptly erased!

 

And do you not notice,

That right now,

at this very moment...

I am being eaten alive!

by a blood sucking parrasite

that rots me inside!

after it was spawned from this secret

- that from you

I so  decietfully hide...

 

 

Well even if you never

com to learn of my crime

I can promise you this...

I will be rightfully chastized

And punished

over the course of time...

as I am impaired by this guilt

that I now feel every day,

as it gnaws,

and it claws,

and it eats me away....

 

Reviews

[Silvario]

amazing! (i woulda used 'Wow' but it was already taken ... twice. :)

seriosly tho, a truely amazing piece. powerfuly written with obviously great talent. i love the structure and its smooth yet fast paced tempo. you realy know how to put a piece together and get the message across with strength and a rather vivid carity.

the subject is an emotion one to write about and you proved to not only get me, the reader, to feel the pain, the anguish of the author, but also to feel a sense of such realism about that situation.

well done indeed. realy very top rate writing

[Bubo]

Guilt can be crippling......and what a powerful poem, great flow and full of taunting emotion.........

[Wondering Mind]

The feeling of guilt eats at our very being, as you have so excellently written here. Especially in this particular situation...I've not come up with a permanent remedy for it, in my case, as I always have this bitter reminder creeping up, but I think it's better than having a dead conscience

[Antonio Valentino]

Well first of all, wonderful write! Secondyly, so many of us know of this feeling, and yes, there is not much worse then breaking a trust with someone who truly cares, and loves you. I hope you somehow find a way to deal with these feelings that are gnawing away at your heart. Blessings to you.

Antonio xo

[Seashell]

This is heart wrenching. I was holding back the tears for you...for the pain within...not knowing if it is ever going to stop must indeed eat you away.
Very well produced with such a natural flow....I could almost hear you speak the words to me.
Full of deep emotions.

Thanks for share
Babsie Bee xx

[Iota]

See this is why I never want to feel guilty about anything I have done, I wouldn't want to feel like this about myself. Wow and Amazing is right, your poetry is really a piece of art. Now if you felt like this, how did he feel afterward?

[Patient Poet (Yos)]

Wow , what a powerful poetry, full of your deepest emotions , telling about the experiance which had change your life forever. I truely hope you can get over the pain , although some pain always stay, like a scratch in the heart, I hope you will be able to look deep into your man eyes and tell him all. There is no Guilt , no shame.... when you tell , you will clean yourself from inside... Thanks for sharing Yossi

[beancountersar]

Wow...the guilt and defilement in these words..very well done. We all feel this way from time to time....