Trouble...

rough draft,,,need to fix,,,

  I knew 

from the very  first moment

i saw him...

that he was nothing but trouble....

And i knew,

that nothing good would  come from  this,

but i  couldnt hold myself back...

and to his bad intentions, 

i  couldnt resist.....

 

and

I am supposed to be wiser now

more experienced and mature, 

but sometimes self control

really can be such a chore....

 

And i think to myself,

"i can handle this",

"I will be just fine",

and besides,

the differnce between love and lust

can be so  easily  defined,

and I can 

so easily...

hold myself back

from crossing that line...

and  this all may sound  so  simple

when I recite it in my  head,

but what happens

as i continue to

share

this intamate act 

with him

over and over again

inside   his bed. 

 

so 

i try to proceed with caution

and try  not to

 expect too much,

except 

-lustful,

erotic satisfaction..

with  his passionate touch...

 

and as i take great pleasure

in  this carnal delight,

it only makes it

a little bit  harder

for me

to tell the difference 

between

what   may seem wrong or  right....

 

and as i

continue to  surrender

to his power,

and

I give him my body,

which he so devinely devours,

and as it feels so 

enticing,

tantalizing, 

and exciting

- even if it may be wrong,

I cant stop myself now...

and I just

let it continue on....

 

and as I allow myself

to become  his  prey,

and find it even more

relieving and hypnotic

to loose myself

to him

in this physicslal way....

 

well 

 i only allow myself to

become more

addicted 

and even more  obsessed  

to share with him

this  act  of lust and sin

and this makes it

that much  harder

to adhere

to my voice of reason

that scolds and warns me

 from within...

 

and now the more i get,

the more i crave...

making myself,

more  of  his  slave....

 

and  god forbid!

 I should end up 

wanting this

to now  mean more

or

what if?

 my original expectations

should  somehow  change from

what they were before ....

well as soon as he learns of

any of this 

he  would  run like hell,

right out that  door....

 

 so as  i keep giving in

to this  shallow desire 

 that now inside me

so strongly

churns and burns,,,,

- I  only keep

allowing myself 

to elude the fact ....

that

this will just

turn 

into one more lesson learned....

 and

I will 

inevitably,

end up

left alone...

to clean up the broken pieces,

- of my heart

after it is,

 rejected and spurned....

 

Reviews

[Alias Fletcher]

Yes, I am easily addicted to many things even when I know they are not the best things. I can relate to your words and dilemma. Superb write, charly