When lust turns into love.

A melody is substantial enough to be music on its own,

You don’t need a harmony to finish a song,

But my love, your harmony added depth,

When you let our songs entwine.

Compose a new song, 

and play it down my body.

Stain my hips with a tune,

Manipulate my body to match your own.

Lay me under the stars,

brush my lips with your harmony.

Fill me with exciting accelerandos,

and breathless rubatos.

Sing words in my ears,

and let them travel to my soul,

Who knew an object of lust,

Could make my melody whole.

Author's Note

I am very unsure about this poem, feedback will be hugely appreciated!

Reviews

[Thomas]

Wrote it like a song, I don't even have any constructive criticism twas so intriguing.

[rach]

Thank you.

[Beccy]

I read this and really liked it, then straight after I read 'let me be your degenerate beauty queen,' two poems so different in wording, but they carry the same yearning tone.

Excellent writing indeed.

Beccy.

[rach]

Thank you.

[paul4u]

All i can say is... WOW! I don't know why you would be "unsure" about this piece. It speaks loud and clear and is very powerful. You are a good writer Miss Rach.

[rach]

Thank you for reading.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

A very exhilarating piece of poetry, sweet n sexy… I believe love and lust can co exist so I love this poem.

[Wórdsmíth]

The first two lines`re my fav. ones. There`s so much depth of soul of the nights. Beautiful art! I adore this poem. However, "Lust" gives pleasure to nights in a hope to receive the "melodies" of love off "harmony" through whispering words of warmth.

"Compose a new song,
and play it down my body."

--These lines expressing everything `bout pleasure & needless to say, the love`s hungry of "pleasure", and, the pleasure always gives relief makin` the raged bodies numb at the same time... under the shades of stars for healing "hearts". Very beautiful poem having the taste of lust, no doubt but the feelings for love either and I always respect when the lovers have lust with love caring the emotions of every single beat of heart which`s meant to get shined along the brightness of moon. Excellent work!

[Frieda P]

A sultry, sweet entangled melody, your poetry sings with robust tempo.

[The Twin Arenas]

yeah, this is alright.
what, specifically, were you unsure about?
"stain my hips with a tune" is a crazy line.

the ending is a little choppy, I suppose. Like, the first two lines of the stanza sort of lead the reader to believe it's going to keep going, but then it ends. I don't know. Ending a poem is much more difficult than starting one.

I like the theme of this poem. Using music like this.

[rach]

I can be a crazy perfectionist and posting something to a public space can leave me feeling anxious, I was unsure about this poem because having read it over and over I feel like I didn't piece the lines together as seamlessly as I could have, and like you said the ending, I had intended to make t a longer poem but then I found myself lost for more words.
Thank you for your honesty and feedback it's definitely helpful!!

[Baby Ricochet]

Lust is quick on the up beat. Like instant. Love takes a while, if ever.

[rach]

Yes, and so many people tell me you can't lust after what you love, I wanted to show the two can be felt at the same time.

[Matching Socks]

Nothing to be unsure about, this was beautiful.
A melody is beautiful on it's own but harmony...
So much in this piece, it talks to the potential, the possibilities... and those loving feelings.
Nice job.

[rach]

Thank you I really appreciate your feedback!

[RayXor]

this is really good like a lovers song in a perfect moment

[rach]

Thank you so much.