Counting Calories

a period of time when I nearly started starving myself

 

200 for breakfast

No more

Maybe less

Lunch time comes

Maybe I’ll eat an apple

Or maybe I’ll skip

My stomach argues

But I ignore it.

 

Dinner comes

I’m starved

But I only eat half

Aren’t you hungry?

They ask me

I shake my head

No.

I lied.

 

So consumed

With my idea of perfection

For weeks

I stayed on

The ridiculous diet

But then I realized

I had to stop

Counting calories.

Author's Note

review please

Reviews

[. - .]

Well this is sad :/
I guess society comes into this too.. I was reading Hugo's conversation once with Amanda and he said if no one "looks" like Marilyn Monroe, she or he is not perfect... Well something like that at least..
And I hope you realize you don't need to starve yourself to look thin, to look skinny, to look pretty :)
Everyone is different in their own way I promise, and now look in the mirror... Tell me what YOU see, and then I'll tell you what I see. Our opinions (I guess you oculd call it) would be pretty different, and that's totally fine! Same goes with the definition of "perfect" or "beautiful". You probably won't think that your pretty, but we do. You probably think your a really bad poet, ha your totally wrong through my eyes.

Lol I hope I made sense... I never make sense e_e

[C.C. Marx]

I knew in my heart starving myself was not the answer. It took mea little while to get the message though. I never needed to do that to myself, I wasn't fat at the time, it was more out of controlling something when everything else went wrong. Are there times when I consider doing it again, of course, but I know I'm strong not to go down that road again. It means so much to know that people care enough not only to review my work, but to give me hope for the future. Thank you for making my day :)
-C.C.

[beautiful dreamer]

yup yup and yup. anxiety disorders man, they're killer. i used to do this. now i just run. it's a great release and it makes up for extra calories :)

[C.C. Marx]

So much better for you isn't it?? I always knew it was a bad decision even before I did it.

[Frieda P]

This is a real problem that plagues so many young women, and even men. We are bombarded with images that no one can possibly live up to...half the time, those models and stuff don't even look like they're portrayed. There's no such thing as perfection, except that this write comes close to full throttle emotions on a page. Kudos for writing this C...

[C.C. Marx]

And thank you for reviewing!! I just wanted others who go through the similar problem to know they aren't alone. That the search for perfection is fruitless, and that this is the road you don't wanna end up taking.

[Frieda P]

I had a young girl that used to work for me, she went down that path, it was a slippy slope, she ended up hospitalized more than several times, and there was not a thing wrong with her to begin with, she was the loveliest you can imagine....it's good you put a voice to it.

[C.C. Marx]

Slippery slope is a good description, are there times I still think about doing it again, I'm not gonna lie that it hasn't crossed my mind, but I'm better than that. So are the other girls and guys facing this, they just don't see their beauty thank you Frieda, always great to hear from you

[Frieda P]

My pleasure C..and keep up the good work, no slipping or I'll have to feed you cupcakes! ;-P

[C.C. Marx]

Will do and if there's cupcakes, i will go anywhere ;)

[RachelReaper]

I see this with some of my friends, they are obsessed with the amount of calories they take in, too. I'm glad to see you had the wisdom to be able to stop. Wonderful poem, I take this to be a kind of warning, but also as a story.

[C.C. Marx]

I see it with my friends as well, and like you said I use my experience as a warning to others. Thanks for reviewing!!!

[Bella]

Very realistic. Exactly how it goes. Great write

[C.C. Marx]

Thank you very much, a big part of the old me I had to express

[Ambereen]

I relate to this perfectly ... Wonderful

[C.C. Marx]

Well I'm glad you can relate but also sympathsize as well, thanks for reviewing!!!!

[TurtleClark]

My sister keeps telling me that i should be an anorexic so i understand

[C.C. Marx]

theres so much pressure to be thin these days its overwhelming, thanks fo reviewing!!

[Siren]

I know the issue well, and could really get away with counting calories since I have to count carbs anyway. Well written.

[EllenMichelle29]

This was good. It's got a positive message towards the end. Counting calories doesn't always work, and you should never do it just for 'perfection' as some people call it. I had weight trouble once (underweight) and I struggled like hell. Everyone should be happy in their own skin without all these dramatic changes.

[C.C. Marx]

There was a time I was little heavier than I liked and even with the weight gone I struggle to see myself positively, but I'm working on it

[EllenMichelle29]

You should be happy the way you are. Don't let anyone get you down, also don't get yourself down. However big or small you are. The main thing is your happy in your own skin.

[C.C. Marx]

I know that now but this happened in the summer right before high school, I really wanted to make a good first impression

[EllenMichelle29]

to make a good impression, is a good personality.

[C.C. Marx]

Your absolutely right and that was something I needed to learn

[EllenMichelle29]

Yeah, some people it comes naturally, others it doesn't

[C.C. Marx]

Yep and growing up with my brother calling me fat didn't help

[EllenMichelle29]

I'm sure your perfect just the way you are x

[C.C. Marx]

Thank you it means a lot to know people care :)

[River Page]

Have you ever read anything by Ellen Hopkins? It sounds like something she would write. Nice work, you capture a girl who is trying to loose weight through unhealthy methods. I like how it felt personal, natural,without being a mushy rant.

[C.C. Marx]

I haven't read any of her work, work you reccomend I do? And thank you for taking the time to review such a personal piece for me :)

[River Page]

I would defintly reccomend her! She writes verse novels. Most of them are a bit controversial...I don't know how conservative you are. My personal favorite is Tricks. It is about five different young people and how each of them resorted to prostitution. And you're totally welcome!

[C.C. Marx]

Conservatism wont be a problem I will definitely have to check that out thanks for telling me