finally see

finally see

A Poem by marie

it seems strange to finally see

this darkness that surounds me

its as if my eyes are opened 

and been welcomed to a strange new world


i see these youthful faces

ravaged by the sands of time

 the people i meet in these places

do not believe these ageless eyes are mine


this newfound sight inside of me

has been birthed by dark eternity

a black abyss has set me free

the  shades of black its showing me


my heart is like a brand new baby

finally emerging from the womb

led here and remain eternally

i've awakened and escaped my tomb


this blackest night that i am in

the warmest blanket, comforting friend

cause here i finally see the stars

ever near and ever far

© 2013 marie


My Review

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Reviews

this could almost be a song, it truly sings itself off the page when read aloud. i kept trying to decide which stanza would be a good chorus and hook for the piece, then i told myself to remember it is a poem...even though it really felt like music to me. well done!

Posted 7 Years Ago


marie

7 Years Ago

lol, most of my work i sing before i actually write it, this one i believe had a
Dminor bas.. read more
quinfinn

7 Years Ago

i knew it! very good.....
marie

7 Years Ago

thank you:)
I have the feeling I have read this before. Perhaps one of your other works is similar to this, or I have read this prior to your posting it. Either way, it is an excellent write. Keep up the great work.

Posted 7 Years Ago


marie

7 Years Ago

reviews aren't only for critiquing you know? they can be used to push the writer forward in their wo.. read more
Ethale Captor

7 Years Ago

Touchè.
marie

7 Years Ago

:)
The light within you shines. Beautifully penned.

Posted 7 Years Ago


marie

7 Years Ago

thank you so much for the review:) it means a lot:)
Good job with this one Marie! :) It had a beautiful beat to it as I was reading along, which made it very enjoyable.

Posted 7 Years Ago


marie

7 Years Ago

thank you:) i'm so glad you liked it:)
Great poem with a nice rhythm to it , love the second stanza, shows the darkness of today, don't know why but this poem reminded me of the sabbath song "heaven and hell"...anyway great job

Posted 7 Years Ago


marie

7 Years Ago

thank you so much:) i'm glad you like it:)
This has a melodic flow, gentle and unforced in its rhyming. "Ravaged by the sands of time", this imagery is strong, very beautiful.. My favourite stanza is without a doubt the fourth, the juxtaposition of "womb" and "tomb" is excitingly powerful!!

Posted 7 Years Ago


marie

7 Years Ago

I'm glad you liked it:) thank you for the review:)
Its amazing how you have become a new creation and this very amazingly shows it! Wonderful piece!

Posted 7 Years Ago


Sir Joseph

7 Years Ago

Good:) because it is plain to see:)
marie

7 Years Ago

It is??
Sir Joseph

7 Years Ago

Yeppers:)
This is interesting, and suspenceful! I love it! :))

Posted 7 Years Ago


marie

7 Years Ago

:) glad you like it took a while:)
}Echo{

7 Years Ago

:)
Interesting! I love it!

Posted 7 Years Ago


marie

7 Years Ago

thanks buddy :)

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396 Views
9 Reviews
Rating
Added on November 9, 2012
Last Updated on March 19, 2013
Tags: night, dark, strange, see, finally, time, faces, eternity, baby, black, shown, friend, near, far, meat, disbelief, welcomed, surrounds, comforting

Author

marie
marie

Laurel, MS



About
I have been away from this site for a while, hoping to get back into the swing of things. I recently turned 18 and have rediscovered my muse. If you wish to befriend me, please constructively review m.. more..

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