Darkness

Darkness

A Story by Cali
"

i thought this was really lame, but my friends said i should post it. so...well, here it is. i hope you like it.

"

 The dark abyss will swallow you, and you will be surrounded by a never-ending darkness. All of your nightmares will torment you eternally. You will die a thousand deaths, and the darkness will only start to suffocate you, drawing you deeper into an endless hell. Your friends will desert you; your enemies will haunt you. You cannot prevent it; you cannot fight it. You can only suffer the horrible torture that awaits.

© 2009 Cali


Author's Note

Cali
Please tell me what you think. I thought it was the worst thing I have ever written, but my friends seem to think otherwise. Thanks for reading, and please tell me what I did wrong. :)

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Reviews

I like it, its deep and dark and evil. :)

Posted 12 Years Ago


I wrote this during my science class, mind you...so thats why it sucks so bad.

Posted 12 Years Ago


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Su
Sweet

Posted 12 Years Ago


I have no idea why this happened to me but your description scares the bee gee bees out of me. (is bee gee bees even a word? I mean I've heard people say it before but I don't think that is how you would spell it.)

Posted 12 Years Ago


hm. i like where your going with this. Maybe a little detail would have spiced it up a bit. the only problem i have is it might be a little too straight forward. like your just getting straight to the point, there's no depth.

Posted 12 Years Ago


On the author's note, I really hope so.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Creepy, even for me. I like it. Although I did read in a creepy English accent. It's only a few lines it could be good if you had a story behind it, like instead of using the tense you are, you could change it to first person perspective and tell the story of how that person got to that point or what happened afterwards, once they'd reached the bottom of the darkness, if they ever did. It sounds like an ending though and not a beginning.


Posted 12 Years Ago



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Added on October 21, 2009

Author

Cali
Cali

About
You know what, I'll just make this nice and short for you: Favorite Colors: Red and black Favorite Animal: The fainting goat Favorite video game: Can't narrow it down; it goes around Left 4 Dead 2 .. more..

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