Prologue: beginning of the end

Prologue: beginning of the end

A Chapter by Shiro-sama
"

first chapter of Adventures in New World by me (Shiro-sama)

"

In the mountainous region of Himalayas stood the great mountain, Mount Everest, which many people tried to climb its summit. The mountain that was supposed to be covered by snow was now covered with melted stones and burning land, there was no coldness in the vicinity but instead only raging heat can be felt.

In the middle of the burning mountain stood an unknown man in a black cape, he was looking down from the highest part of the world. His lips curved upwards and started to open and said with his hoarse voice.

“It is time! The change is coming! Let me change your world! NOW COME FORTH”

The unknown man started laughing and multiple meteors slowly descended from the deep red-colored sky.

Meanwhile in a city called Urdaneta which is located in the Small country in the Pacific Ocean called Philippines, a boy with black hair who was in his early teens was sitting in the back row of the classroom. He looked towards the window when the sound bell was heard.

“Yes it’s lunch” Ace whispered.

“Okay class, see you tomorrow better read chapter 4 and 5 for tomorrow”

As the instructor left the room, Ace stretched his arms upward and gave a big yawn.

“That was boring; I’m dying of hunger already”

 He sank his face in the arm chair; thoughts started appear in his mind.

‘Sometimes I thought that life was too boring.’

‘There is no excitement.’

‘I always do the same routine.’

‘Eat, work, school that’s all there is, that’s why I immerse myself in games, novels, and animes to see the world I yearn for.’

“bro let’s eat”

A tall curly haired guy named Dan; he was wearing the same uniform like Ace. He was a good friend and classmate of Ace.

“Okay lets go I want to eat already”

Ace and Dan walked to the corridor. Because of his habit, Ace looked at the sky

‘I felt like the sky is darker than usual. The weather forecast said that it will be sunny today. What a useless forecast.’

“Sh*t I forgot to bring my umbrella! Damn that forecast!” ace cursed.

“Hey bro I’m going to the comfort room just a bit” Dan said to me.

“Okay I’m buying something in the store nearby, just go there”

He gave a thumb up and started running towards the comfort room. He walked to the nearby store to buy something when ear piercing explosions were heard.

BAAAAAAAM! BAAAAAAAAM! BAAAAAAAAAAM!

Heavy winds can be felt because of the explosions. Nearby people screams can be heard and everyone was already in panic. It is the same with Ace, he was already nervous.

“W-what’s that? Is it world war already?”

“A METEOR!!!” someone screamed and Ace turned his head and looked at the sky and he saw meteors that were rapidly falling from the sky.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! Another explosion was heard.

The window glass broke; violent wind can be felt because of the aftershock of the explosion and thick dust covered the whole place. Now, the landing site of the meteor was only meters away from them.

“I CANT SEE!”

“AH! MY ARM IT HURTS!”

“HELP!”

Pitiful voices can be heard everywhere, Ace was covered with dust, he tried to stand up and surveyed the whole place, his face was filled with disbelief and terror. Many injured people, pools of blood can be seen, he didn’t know what was happening. He was shaking in fear this is the first time he saw something like this.

“WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING HERE!” Ace screamed as hard as he could.

In the midst of chaos, a thundering laugh was heard.

‘I greet you my precious subjects’ a voice suddenly echoes everywhere, every people stopped panicking.

‘Welcome to the New World! The start of the new era, the era of peace is gone’ the mysterious voice said and many people started talking in confusion.

“What’s that voice?” a male voice said.

“W-who is that?” while a girl with a fearful expression said.

‘YOU DON’T NEED TO KNOW WHO I AM MY PRECIOUS SUBJECTS. BUT THIS IS ONLY THE BEGINNING, TRY TO SURVIVE THE NEXT WAVE OF SURPRISES; I WISH YOU GOODLUCK’ after that the voice slowly vanished and as the mysterious voice vanished many people started to panicked. Some people said

“It’s the end of the world”

“REVELATION!”

“JUDGEMENT!”

Ace was in panic, there were many things in his mind.

“According to the voice “this is only the beginning “there are others that are worse than this. What to do? What to do?”

‘Is it really the end?’

‘I don’t want to die, I still don’t have a girlfriend, I want to accomplish my dreams, there are many things I want to do.’

While Ace was lost in thoughts another scream was heard.

“HELP! M-MONSTERS!”

When ace heard this he stopped daydreaming and looked where the voice was. In the place covered with dust, he saw shadows.

“Are they persons?” Ace said while keeping a close eye in the shadows. The shadows began to be clearer, 5 small and 3 huge beings can be seen. The small ones, most likely 1 meter in height, have the stature of a human, they have green skin and they were holding a short sword. The other one is a fat, almost 2 meters in height, with a pig like face holding a huge club. These beings are goblins and orcs that can be seen in fantasy.

“No there not humans, they’re goblin and orcs, I need to get the hell out of here” Ace took a step back and turned his body around and started to run in the opposite direction of the monster.

“RUUUN!” Ace Shouted.

Thus the era of peace ended and the era of apocalypse started.



© 2016 Shiro-sama


Author's Note

Shiro-sama
sir/s please review this. tell me what can i change or what to improve?

My Review

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Featured Review

This piece reads very much like comic book anime style, which I guess is what you're aiming for, so that's good. I don't really know that style very well, so I'm not going to comment too much on that. In general, I'd tidy the grammar a bit. You've got a mix of present and past tense, so I'd recommend sticking with one or the other.
One specific line I think you could look at is 'He began sinking his face in the arm chair. In his dark eyes you can see that he is yearning for something that can’t be seen in reality.'
Think about the logistics of that: if he's hiding his face, how can anybody see his eyes? I'd suggest reversing the 2 actions. Also, I'd avoid saying 'you' can see his eyes, because that breaks the 4th wall. How about something like, '...his brother' could see...etc.
Most importantly, keep going and don't give up!



Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Shiro-sama

4 Years Ago

First of all thank you sir for reviewing my work I'm really happy :) I know I'm still inexperience b.. read more
Shiro-sama

4 Years Ago

Which is better Past or present tense sir ?
Shiro-sama

4 Years Ago

Sir can you check it again :)



Reviews

This piece reads very much like comic book anime style, which I guess is what you're aiming for, so that's good. I don't really know that style very well, so I'm not going to comment too much on that. In general, I'd tidy the grammar a bit. You've got a mix of present and past tense, so I'd recommend sticking with one or the other.
One specific line I think you could look at is 'He began sinking his face in the arm chair. In his dark eyes you can see that he is yearning for something that can’t be seen in reality.'
Think about the logistics of that: if he's hiding his face, how can anybody see his eyes? I'd suggest reversing the 2 actions. Also, I'd avoid saying 'you' can see his eyes, because that breaks the 4th wall. How about something like, '...his brother' could see...etc.
Most importantly, keep going and don't give up!



Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Shiro-sama

4 Years Ago

First of all thank you sir for reviewing my work I'm really happy :) I know I'm still inexperience b.. read more
Shiro-sama

4 Years Ago

Which is better Past or present tense sir ?
Shiro-sama

4 Years Ago

Sir can you check it again :)

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Added on August 1, 2016
Last Updated on August 6, 2016