Rewrite: Katys loss

Rewrite: Katys loss

A Story by Tahna

A rewrite of "Just another love story" This one is more interesting, but sad.



She lay on her bed quiet. Hearing the voices in her head, The break up argument, replayed, like a scene from the DVD or a song someone loved. She made Imaginary conversations, with things she wished she had said. Words oh so clever and witty,.. She didn’t cry, what would be the point? But her emotions suddenly disagree. This didn’t make sense! She didn’t want to cry, this wasn’t right to her. Tears dripped slowly and she didn’t bother to wipe them away. They felt good against her soft cheek as if they were washing away the pain.  She could taste the salt on her lips as each tear fell slowly down. She breathed deeply, wanting to stop crying. Drawing her hands through her hair, she sighs and stands up. She walks over to her mirror to look at herself. Her eyes are still teary, but she rubs them dry now. She didn’t know why it hurt her. Her pain didn’t seem right, why cry over a break up? Why cry like something died? Something did die. She thought. She knew what died was their relationship, she knew this, but it did not feel worthy to cry over. Not over him. Never over him again.


She decided to forget about the break up. That was it, she decided to forget. But she did not. The hurt feelings wouldn’t escape her. It did not help that she kept the small note that was given to her by her ex boyfriend. The note, written in blue pen, read, “Dear Katy, I thought about what you told me, and I’m sorry I don’t feel the same, From Ben.” She remembered the argument they had the following day of her receiving the note; Ben and Katy had been together for 12 months. Katy had hoped to spend New Years with Ben, as Katy had already declined her friends New Years invitation, which she sadly regretted now. Ben couldn’t possibly break up with Katy before The New Year we had plans Katy thought. Now she knows how shallow the argument was.


Things got worse for Katy as she remembered last New Year. She remembered laughing with her friends as she sat on her bed reminiscing. Katy never realised how the year changed. How she pushed away her friends because she wanted to spend time with Ben.  How everything became “Ben this, Ben That”. She decided it was time to reunite with her old friends. She called her old best friend, the phone rang and rang but nobody answered.  Days went by as Katy tried to contact her old friends, she realised she must have pushed them all away.  It wasn’t till days later than she heard from one of her friends, “Katy? I haven’t heard from you in forever!”  Katy chocked up as she told her friend about the break up. There was silence on the other end. After a few seconds she heard “beep beep beep” from the phone after her friend hung up.


Katy couldn’t believe it, how can anyone do this to her? How could her only friend be so cruel? Everything was going downhill for her. She crawled under her bed covers and lay there, unsure of what to do next.  

A few minutes had passed until she had an epiphany. She called up one of the few people that really loved her... She called up her mum.

It was now more than ever that Katy realised how much she needed her mummy. It was so simple, her mum only had to say “It’ll be okay, honey” and Katy felt so much better. Sometimes when you don’t have a friend, your family will always be there.

© 2010 Tahna

Author's Note

This was re written for a competition I was entering

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Added on November 23, 2010
Last Updated on November 23, 2010



New Zealand

Hey, my names Tahna. I've been writing since I was about 9 or younger I just remember loving expressive writing at Primary school so that's how I started. more..

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