Lily Lullaby

I had to write a poem about a flower for the last question of a poetry packet, it had to take on a strange life of it's own. Did I succeed?

 

Sweet heavenly scent

Manipulates all senses from the start

Beautiful trickster!

Long white petals

 So pure

 So demure…

Gorgeous wild temptations!

Be they petals painted

 of a tiger’s majestic pride;

be they floating innocently

 on a clear, cool lake…

Wraps the body and the mind

      into false complacency

  with sweet lily lullabies…

Until life is devoid,

 Eyes clouded,

 Breath still.

These petals shall rest

 with death…

Forevermore.

 

 

 

Author's Note

Keep in mind I wrote this in 5 minutes :]

Reviews

[Sar Jayne]

brilliant and beautiful and flawless.

[melissa]

5 mintues? wow you did a wondeful job! i loved it :)

[Kayla]

I thought that this was great!! Wonderful imagery!! I makes me feel like I'm surrounded by beautiful lillies!!

[ALifeAquatic]

You wrote this in 5 minutes! Well then that is amazing!

I really liked this I found myself drifting off while I read this lullaby, it just flows so brilliantly! It rocked me back and forth! I love how you juxtapose, "Gorgeous wild temptations," with, dark ideas such as death! It really helps the poem to pack a punch at the end, which isn't something you expect a poem entitled,"Lily Lullaby," to do!

I'm very glad you entered this in, "Be Experimental," otherwise I wouldn't have come across this!

Once again brilliant!

AHouseOfChambers

[Snuggles McClintock]

not to shabby, doll. enough flowery imagery to make O'keefe proud.
My only suggestion to not bold words. just a personal pick, as a reader I like to decide what gets bolded! As a poet, you lose the right to decide that!

viva la

[J Carly]

This is a beautifully written poem, regardless of the time it took. But the fact that such beauty comes to you so quickly, is definitely something worthy of admiration.Lillies are one of my favourite flowers. To me, they symbolize a wild inner strength behind delicate petals, especially tiger lillies, so I love the lines, "Beautiful trickster!" and "Be they petals painted /of a tiger's majestic pride;" I do believe, as others before me have said, that you have achieved a height far above that of your goal. The imagery is breathtaking, and you have a firm grip on language throughout. That being said, I don't think this piece fits any of the prize categories set in the Dreamscape contest. Please do not take this to mean that your write isn't fantastic, because it is...truly, and in every way. Thank you for entering it, regardless of the outcome, for to have missed this would, indeed, have been a shame. Keep the ink flowing!

[Bud]

A five minute Gift! This is Outstanding! Keep up the Excellent works of art, Stephanie!

[Owl]

Interesting idea. Recently, I've been studying William Blake in college. He had a poem called 'The Lily', but he took a differnt approach. He saw the lily as innocence, compared to say, a rose, which has thorns.

I love the idea of the lily being a 'beautiful trickster', though. Reminds me of your flirt poem too.

Also, the font makes me think of hippies, and in turn, Crypto from 'Destroy All Humans' doing what he did best, which was destroying all humans. Particularly hippies.

[Aekmy]

Great job. (: This poem is very cute.

-Mary

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

I would say you succeeded... that is so captivating and beautiful, i am seriously at a loss for words to describe how this poem makes me feel... all I can say is bravo.