Lover's Odyssey

A poem from a few years ago, I wrote for a competition but never entered it.

The Lover’s Odyssey

Forget about the former schlep,

Hurled abuse and degradation,

Scared to move on to the next step,

Lost in a peregrination.

 

Your name like a word repeated,

Withered, stale, old. Love defeated.

Nothing left but a shattered heart,

Which was delicate from the start.

 

The other side of the abyss,

I’ve moved on from tribulations,

Trials and false expectations.

What kind of romance is this?

 

Now to the future, eyes forward,

As we move towards it.

 

Out on a brand new expedition,

Which , together, we can achieve.

Sail seas, cross oceans, touch the sky,

Reach the stars, the moons, the heavens.

 

 Fly.

 

A bodily exploration,

And a journey covering infinite miles.

               

 

Author's Note

Please be honest :) Happy reading!

Reviews

[Just Kim]

To be honest, I love it. Very nicely written

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Again I liked the structure the flow and the word choice. I did find the rhyming pattern difficult to follow although I am not a fan of rhyming as many let it restrict their artistry by forcing their work onto a rhyme. You appear to be able to do it better than many.

[Strawberry]

Rhyme scheme was actually something I put a lot of consideration into for this poem. I wanted it, at the start, to reflect the regularity and boredom of the old relationship. It was meant to break in the end to demonstrate how the new relationship is different and more... hmm... "free", I suppose - but that's not the exact word I wanted.

Many thanks for the comments - and I'll have a play around in the future some more to try and make the changes more obvious and expressive.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

No I liked the poem but I am no accademic poet so am learning about different styles.

[.]

~ beautifully written... this piece does read like a journey... i especially loved the second stanza and the closing... ~ i loved the presentation too... particularly the way the word "Fly" has been placed... oh, and the rhythm is nice... ~ i like the idea of that "brand new expedition" which covers "infinite miles"... makes me smile... :)

[Strawberry]

thank you very much :)

[.]

~ my privilege... :)