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My World

My World

A Poem by Sunflower 20
"

This is me expressing the one question that I can never answer: what is the purpose of war? It was inspired by a song called Heart of Courage, by Two Steps From Hell

"

My world

When the stars shine, and hope fills the air,

Love will keep us together, no matter what.

I will stand by you with every fibre of my being fighting for Justice.

And in the smoking debris of what was once a city,

I stumble to my feet watching the once beautiful stars erupt in clouds of blackened smoke.

My body is unwilling to move, damaged by war.

But I know I must go on, I must search this blazing earth for the last remaining love,

You.

So with hope in my heart, I march on alone searching for you, unwilling to give in.

Because I know some where out there,

You will be waiting for me.

And this, this sad story,

This is the reality of

My world.

© 2010 Sunflower 20


Author's Note

Sunflower 20
okay, well I have no idea how I wrote this (it was a spur of the moment thing) so just take that into acount when reveiwing, thanks. :)

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wow this was amazing work, i just loved this. it's amazing how inspiration can suddenly strike, right? this poem is testament to that.
i sure like the flow of this poem a lot, this was very powerful and strong. that feeling of justice just manifests itself in this poem. in my opinion this was by far the strongest lines in the poem:
"But I know I must go on, I must search this blazing earth for the last remaining love,

You."
that one-word line hit hardest of all in this poem. you could make this even better by perhaps making some of the long lines into smaller separate lines, like
"So with hope in my heart,
I march on alone searching for you,
unwilling to give in."
instead of putting it all into one long line. that will make the reader feel the impact of each and every phrase.
great work here!
PS. I listened to the song as well. awesome! no wonder you were inspired!
READ, WRITE AND REVIEW

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

"LOVe will keep us together no matter what" I often say this to my boyfriend and I truly believe that, when two people are meant to be together, their love is strong enough to get through all struggles, and if it isn't then they weren't meant to be.

Love is the strongest thing in the world.. this poem really represents that, its so powerful and I loved it.

Posted 7 Years Ago


You are my new hero.....

Posted 7 Years Ago


That is soooooo good. I agree. What is the purpose of war? It makes no sense. I really really like the poem. It's amazing.

Posted 8 Years Ago


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ZeN
much truth in your words.. often times spontaneous word productions, end up being the most candid and expressive of pieces..

Posted 8 Years Ago


tasked and certain, a relevant prose of biblical performance. a well researched an thoughtful piece, well done, good read.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Really liked how this made me think of all the men and women dying around the world for land, power, oil....all these things that will be left behind when we all die. Yet when we are alive, we kill one another for those things....
when in reality........ Love is the only thing worth fighting for and sometimes even THAT isnt worth the prison sentence.

And on that note....thank you to all you servicemen and women...Thank you for serving.

Posted 8 Years Ago


This is a pretty cool poem:
War is the ultimate obscenity.
I like that this could also be construed as a romantic thing...
Since I chose to pursue truth instead of completeness and matrimonial bliss,
I read this as a pursuit of purpose, yes, or Truth.


Posted 8 Years Ago


This is amazing no other words can be used :-)

Posted 8 Years Ago


War is hell. This is well expressed. Not having been directly in a war or war zone I don't know this reality you write of and how i wish no one knew of it.
A sad poem , as it would be since it is about war.

"tumble to my feet watching the once beautiful stars erupt in clouds of blackened smoke.

My body is unwilling to move, damaged by war."

So awful what it does to humankind and our Earth.

Chloe

Posted 8 Years Ago


War effects all of us, but some of us are far removed from the reality of war. I like the way you have weaved the destruction caused by war into the world of the heart. I think the purpose of war means something only to the wealthy that benefit from war and those that want to wipe out other people's beliefs, and of course sometimes war benefits politicians and they start wars to get re-elected. For most of us, war is meaningless. I like the image in this poem of someone searching for love in a war torn world.

Posted 8 Years Ago



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Added on November 30, 2010
Last Updated on December 28, 2010

Author

Sunflower 20
Sunflower 20

Melbourne, Australia



About
I'm a 15 year old young writer who absolutely loves reading and writing. My stories have been praised by teachers, friends and family but I would really like someone to critically edit and give me fee.. more..

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