This is me

This is me

A Poem by Sunflower 20
"

I had to write this for school on body image. enjoy!

"

This is me

Young and innocent

Then you came

Showed me what was wrong

But why change me?

Why change the person I really am?

Suddenly all I know is lost

My faith, my personality, my life

I am nothing more than what you made me

Superficial and perfect

But somewhere deep inside lurks a voice

Nothing more than a whisper

This is not me…this is not me

Why did you do it?

I was fine the way I was…

To be me is to be different

To be spotted from the crowd

This is me 

© 2010 Sunflower 20


Author's Note

Sunflower 20
Again, please be crtitical and honest. Thanks ^_^

My Review

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Reviews

This is very nice...often we let others remake us into what we aren't just to please them. Like you say in the poem, why change people? Let them be themselves. Eventually those who let themselves be remade realize the wrongness of it. Another outstanding write.

Posted 8 Years Ago


this is me... a very fitting title to the story nice job

Posted 8 Years Ago


To be honest, I really love the way that this describes exactly how I feel. I know this person who used to be my friend and you probably know the reason why were not friends annymore. I got influenced to do something, many times and it wasn't even big at all, but I hated the person I was becoming because of it, day by day. So I cut the friendship off once I realized the trouble I was causing myself and I've been on the road to reconstruction with a bright future at the end of the tunnel. I'm happy I took charge and figured out that change isn't what I needed :) thanks for read requesting this to me. keep writing!

Posted 8 Years Ago


I absolutely love the topic and facing the "pain" of change...very well done, you got the feeling across beautifully

Posted 8 Years Ago


Pros: Changing for someone is an interesting topic, and you chose the negative route of it. So often, we do make bad changes for people. We need to stop this and listen to that voice in our heads. Anyway, this poem is like an internal dialogue with oneself, and I like that. It flows well.

Cons: Perhaps when you start into the negative of changing, in line seven, perhaps have a paragraph break and add more to the first part. It's rather short before you dive into the negative.

Overall: A good poem and a good reflection on changing.

Posted 8 Years Ago


I think you could add to the poem, but over all you did a very good job on it.

Posted 8 Years Ago


thanks to everyone for reviewing, i really appreciate it. :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


Superficial and perfect? It is a good poem, stay as you are, changes will come quite naturally, enjoyed thank you

Posted 8 Years Ago


I really like this. I think it rings true with a lot of people and you expressed it very well.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I like this a lot. It definitely outlines that we should appreciate ourselves and who we are not compare to other people. Really nice.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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13 Reviews
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Added on December 13, 2010
Last Updated on December 28, 2010

Author

Sunflower 20
Sunflower 20

Melbourne, Australia



About
I'm a 15 year old young writer who absolutely loves reading and writing. My stories have been praised by teachers, friends and family but I would really like someone to critically edit and give me fee.. more..

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