A Pool of Thought

A Pool of Thought

A Poem by Sunflower 20
"

first attempt at a sonnet.

"

 

The sun shone bright

In the midsummer blaze

Then came the blinding light

Tearing the sky into a purple haze

 

And in my mind there is a ringing bell

Full of lost memories and lies

Through a world of senseless smell

The utter lies become butterflies

 

Where lies a single rose

With but one wish

For the world to recompose

The beauty in which we relish

 

Remain, I do still stand

Saved by a helping hand   

© 2011 Sunflower 20


Author's Note

Sunflower 20
I had to write this for school, and i know it doesn't really make sense, but what do you think? and if there's anything technical that i've done wrong, please let me know.

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Featured Review

I think it makes perfect sense, and I think its beautiful. I know that you know what you were trying to say, you're just too embarrassed to admit it. TECHNICALLY speaking, you being embarrassed of your writing is wrong;D. To me you were describing a paradise, where everything bad becomes something good, and it was all possible because someone came into your life and brought it to you. Thats what I see, What do you see?=)

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Love it! Don't give up! 100/100 :)

Posted 7 Years Ago


I think it makes perfect sense, and I love the line "Turning the sky into a purple haze." Very good imagery.

Posted 7 Years Ago


I love it! I really haven't read many sonnets, but I know that they're hard to write, and i'm way impressed that you were able to make it so pretty, and that it made so much sense! Great!

Posted 7 Years Ago


I think it makes perfect sense, and I think its beautiful. I know that you know what you were trying to say, you're just too embarrassed to admit it. TECHNICALLY speaking, you being embarrassed of your writing is wrong;D. To me you were describing a paradise, where everything bad becomes something good, and it was all possible because someone came into your life and brought it to you. Thats what I see, What do you see?=)

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

A good poem,written about a universal theme, that fits well the sonnet genre.

Posted 7 Years Ago


i feel as if the thoughts of this poem are scattered, i think if you made this poem longer it could envelop the reader and draw his/her attention more , good write though!

Posted 8 Years Ago


No weakness in this poem. Photo allow the words to come alive.
"Where lies a single rose
With but one wish
For the world to recompose
The beauty in which we relish "
Wishes and dreams are all we have sometime. A excellent poem.
Coyote

Posted 8 Years Ago


I don't know much about sonnets but I thought this was wonderful and so pretty. Well done.
♥ Ta'Shandra

Posted 8 Years Ago



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8 Reviews
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Added on August 5, 2011
Last Updated on August 5, 2011

Author

Sunflower 20
Sunflower 20

Melbourne, Australia



About
I'm a 15 year old young writer who absolutely loves reading and writing. My stories have been praised by teachers, friends and family but I would really like someone to critically edit and give me fee.. more..

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