A Pool of Thought

A Pool of Thought

A Poem by Sunflower 20
"

first attempt at a sonnet.

"

 

The sun shone bright

In the midsummer blaze

Then came the blinding light

Tearing the sky into a purple haze

 

And in my mind there is a ringing bell

Full of lost memories and lies

Through a world of senseless smell

The utter lies become butterflies

 

Where lies a single rose

With but one wish

For the world to recompose

The beauty in which we relish

 

Remain, I do still stand

Saved by a helping hand   

© 2011 Sunflower 20


Author's Note

Sunflower 20
I had to write this for school, and i know it doesn't really make sense, but what do you think? and if there's anything technical that i've done wrong, please let me know.

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I think it makes perfect sense, and I think its beautiful. I know that you know what you were trying to say, you're just too embarrassed to admit it. TECHNICALLY speaking, you being embarrassed of your writing is wrong;D. To me you were describing a paradise, where everything bad becomes something good, and it was all possible because someone came into your life and brought it to you. Thats what I see, What do you see?=)

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

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Love it! Don't give up! 100/100 :)

Posted 12 Years Ago


I think it makes perfect sense, and I love the line "Turning the sky into a purple haze." Very good imagery.

Posted 12 Years Ago


I love it! I really haven't read many sonnets, but I know that they're hard to write, and i'm way impressed that you were able to make it so pretty, and that it made so much sense! Great!

Posted 12 Years Ago


I think it makes perfect sense, and I think its beautiful. I know that you know what you were trying to say, you're just too embarrassed to admit it. TECHNICALLY speaking, you being embarrassed of your writing is wrong;D. To me you were describing a paradise, where everything bad becomes something good, and it was all possible because someone came into your life and brought it to you. Thats what I see, What do you see?=)

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

A good poem,written about a universal theme, that fits well the sonnet genre.

Posted 12 Years Ago


i feel as if the thoughts of this poem are scattered, i think if you made this poem longer it could envelop the reader and draw his/her attention more , good write though!

Posted 13 Years Ago


No weakness in this poem. Photo allow the words to come alive.
"Where lies a single rose
With but one wish
For the world to recompose
The beauty in which we relish "
Wishes and dreams are all we have sometime. A excellent poem.
Coyote

Posted 13 Years Ago


I don't know much about sonnets but I thought this was wonderful and so pretty. Well done.
♥ Ta'Shandra

Posted 13 Years Ago



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8 Reviews
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Added on August 5, 2011
Last Updated on August 5, 2011

Author

Sunflower 20
Sunflower 20

Melbourne, Australia



About
I'm a 15 year old young writer who absolutely loves reading and writing. My stories have been praised by teachers, friends and family but I would really like someone to critically edit and give me fee.. more..

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