chapter 1

chapter 1

A Chapter by ♥SunkissAngel♥

this go to the book The Pas .haunts You..


The sun rose up over the hill that sat behind our barn. I was only six years old when my brother drowned. He was walking up to our pond, well more like running, he was chasing frogs ducks, what not. I was there I saw everything, but yet I did nothing. As he fell in to that icy cold water I stood there like a statue watching him drown. I watched as I saw panic spread across his face. I watched as the last bubble floated up to the ponds surface. I watched as his eyes rolled to the back of his head and as he sank deeper and deeper in to the depths of the pond, yet I did nothing I just watched.

      .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .

Eleven years had passed and the memories of that day are still crystal clear in my mind. Even now I still wonder why I did not help my little two year old brother. I still wonder what would have changed if I jumped in to save him that day, I wonder. As I push open the door that lead in to the down town café the sight of my brother caught my eye. I swung my head around to see nothing but people eager to get in to the café.

“MOVE IT” A man called from behind me.

“Yeah some of us don’t have all day” This lady yelled as she pushed her way in to the café.

I did not argue I just kept on walking taking a seat at a far table next to the window. I pulled my dell laptop out and flipped it open. There was a picture of me and my brother climbing an oke tree that grew in our back yard. I stared at that picture for how long, I don’t recall but my focus on that image was shattered when this man tripped and fell in my lap.

“Oh my god!!! I am so sorry” The guy said as he stood up. He had dark brown hair and teal eyes that seemed to glow. I looked at him speechless say something you idiot. I said to my self. I took a couple of breaths then I looked at the guy.

“It’s perfectly alright, no harm done” I said as I closed my laptop. The man smiled at me, his smiled made my heart melt like butter on warm toast. He sat down across from me and smiled. His eyes sparked as the rays of the sun hit him. My heart was in awe it all came back to reality when he spoke.

“Ohh I am sorry can I sit here”  he asked in the kindest voice that I had ever heard.

I was too speechless, say no whatever you do say no say no. my mind chanted but I did not listen to it. I was to caught up in the idea that this guy might actually like me. I mean me for me not who he wants me to be. This was perfect just perfect. I wanted to blurt out YES!!! But that would sound to desperate.

“yeah go right ahead” I said as I smiled at him.

I was shaking all over although it was not that easy to see. My heart was racing with every breath I took. It felt like it was going to jump out of my chest. I looked out the window thing once more that I saw my brother. He looked bad. The image I saw was him with weeds all over him and he looked pale and his skin looked all wrinkly. I swear he was saying “you will pay for what happened to me” my mind came back to the guy who was sitting across from me.

“I am sorry for not introducing myself…My name is Donovan” he said with a sweet smile.

I took deep breaths before I spoke. My hands were trembling. I broke out in to a cold sweat. I did not know what to do I was so speechless. You idiot tell him your name. My subconscious said to me. I took a deep breath.

“my name is Isabella but my friends call me Izzy” I managed to say.

Looking out the window I stared at this kid that was skate boarding down the road. I watched as he grinded a bench and disappeared in to the distance. Donovan stood up and smiled at me. He ran his fingers through his hair. I looked at him slowly taking my gaze from outside to him. I stood up too. I held out my hand to shake his.

“It was a pleasure to have met you Donovan. I hope we see each other again.” I said as I picked up my stuff and put it in my bag. I through the bag over my shoulder and smiled at Donovan. “Well I will see you around” I said as I waved good bye to him and left the café . I looked back to see him standing there waving even after I left the café. I walked to the nearest bus stop and sat down on the bench. I waited for a bus to arrive when I got hit in the head with a small rock. I looked back to see if I could see who through it but I saw no one.

I turned back around and went back to the book I was reading but yet I got hit in the head again. I turned around once more. This time I was furious. I looked around for the kids but I still saw no one. I put my book back in my bag it was no use getting all worked up for no reason, any way the bus had pulled up. I hopped on the bus paid my tole and took a seat in the back. I leaned on the wall and closed my eyes. My head was pounding and my eyes stung.I thought I could hear my little brother saying you did this to me now you will pay. I shook it off as my stop came in to view.

As i steeped out of the buss i realized i had gotten off at the wrong stop. I looked around to find out i was on Mane St. I still had several more blocks to go. I let out a sigh as i began to walk down the street. With every step i took it sounded like some one was following me but when i looked back no one was there. My heart was racing and i had no idea were to go. As i made the turn left down maple drive i fell on to the pavement. My head came down with a big crash. I felt pain shoot through my head like i was hit with a freight train.

I could feel blood fall out of the wound i had on my head. It slowly trickled out of it and landed on the sidewalk. My heart was beating slowly and i could feel my self slowly close my eyes. I tried to keep my self awake but i could not. My eyes felt like it weighed  a thousand pounds.With one last breath my eyes closed just before i saw a figure slowly walk up to me.

© 2010 ♥SunkissAngel♥

Author's Note

hope you enjoyed this chapter

My Review

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Interesting... and when did you first post this? In the second-to-last paragraph, the "i" should be capitalized in the sentence: "I felt pain shoot through my head like I was hit with a freight train." You could also replace the word "with" with "by."
Keep up the good work.

Posted 10 Years Ago

a few spelling mistakes, but nothing big :) i think u should add more details why shew was so eager to sit with the random guy, or maybe a description on him. Is seeing her brother a normal thing for her? u may want to explain tht 2 otherwise, ver good!!

Posted 10 Years Ago

I think you're using a lot of unnecessary words and phrases. I did away with the sun rising because it didn't include enough description to accurately set a mood and it had nothing to do with what went on in the pond.
I included falling through the ice because in order for the little brother to sink into the depths of the pond he had to be in the middle.
I changed statue to stone because it felt a little less cliché to me.
I rearranged the eye rolling because the six year old's (protagonist's) point of view would prohibit her from seeing her brothers eyes roll up in his head after he had sank into the depths of the pond.

I think it would be better if it went this way:

"I was only six years old when my brother drowned. I was there. I saw everything, yet I did nothing. He was chasing frogs, ducks or what not. When he fell through the ice I stood there like a stone. I saw panic spread across his face, watched his eyes roll to the back of his head. I watched him sink into the depths of the pond. I saw the last bubble float to the surface, yet I did nothing... I just watched."

Good job though...keep writing!

Posted 10 Years Ago

thanks... :)

Posted 10 Years Ago

nice work here, and i wonder why nobody's reviewed this before me. nice job

Posted 10 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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5 Reviews
Added on April 20, 2010
Last Updated on November 29, 2010



Fort Drum, NY

Bonjour!! Hey every one you may know me but if not my name is samantha but i go by sam, Sunkiss, or Pepper sometimes. I am 15 years old and is currently in a wonderful relation ship. I have two si.. more..


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