The Vampire I Have Become

The night was calm not a cloud in the sky. The stars shown bright and the moon had an ominous glow about it. It seemed the world was at peace, but I was hungry. I am a Vampire, I live in Jersey City just a stones throw away from New York City. My name is

 

Jersey City is not much of a place to look at, the streets are run down and polluted with trash and bums. It may not be much of a place to live but at least I could find a place to sleep in the daytime. Although I could live off the bums if I wanted to it was not a first choice for me. There blood tasted as nasty as they looked. No my first choice for nourishing satisfaction was an uppity up blond woman. New York City was the best place to find them.

 

I was not always a Vampire, no at one time I was human. A man with a future. I had a job with a very well know law firm. I had a house, and I was in love with a beautiful blond woman that broke my heart. That's when things turned ugly for me. One day I came home from work and caught her in bed with my best friend. The pain I felt was enough to drive me mad. I left my house that day trying to get a handle on the situation. The more I thought about it the more angry I became. A couple of days later she wanted to meet with me and talk, okay yea I could talk. I met her that day and seeing her made me hate her so much more, all I could see was them in my bed. The pain became so unbearable I grabbed her by the throat and squeezed the life out of her. To my surprise I felt no remorse. The pain was gone, for the moment, and it felt so good. Even now as I think about it I can't help but smile. As the days and weeks went by I found more women to fulfill my need for death to ease my pain and suffering, feeling all the while I was saving some poor soul from the awful heartache I was going through. I had become known as the midnight strangler, hunted by the police and labeled a serial killer. I was never caught but soon felt I could never kill enough women to ease the pain in my heart so I decided to take my own life and end it all. After my last victim I slit my own throat and lay bleeding to death. The next thing I knew I had been brought back but things didn't feel the same and I was staring into the eyes of my maker.

 

His eye were a marble green full of malice and seemed to pierce through your mind and your soul. His hair was a dark brown kind of a dingy color. It was cropped short and neatly combed, it looked as if it would never fall out of place. His face was pail almost a bone white. He was sitting at the time, but I guessed him to be about six feet tall slender build with a hint of solidness. When you stalked people as long as I have you tend to take notice of these thing pretty quickly, so as to know what you are up against.

 

As I sat up from where I was laying I reached for my throat. He just looked at me and laughed.

 

“Don't worry about that mate you are all healed up now” he said in a mater of fact tone.

 

“Wha what happened, whe where am I, who are you” I had never been so lost for words in my life. Last thing I remembered was cutting my throat.

 

“You had a nasty little cut there mate” reading my thoughts “ next time you should try cutting with conviction” he chuckled. “oh but that won't help you anymore”

 

“What do you mean”

 

“I mean you should try cutting deeper a flesh wound won't kill you”

 

“No, what do you mean it won't help me anymore”

 

“ I knew what you were talking about” he said with a laugh. “I have been following you for some time now. When I first saw you I knew something was different about you, the way you moved, the way you walked. Almost as if you had it all together. I like that in a person, it makes there blood so robust.” He closed his eyes and looked to the ceiling, bringing his fingers up to his mouth as though he were kissing them.

 

“What are you” I knew the answer to that even before he spoke again.

 

“Not just me my friend, what are we” an evil little grin came across his face as the reality of his words sank in.

 

“You mean, I'm...”

 

“Yes my friend a Vampire”

 

“Why? Why did you just not let me die?”

 

“Like I was saying I followed you and was about to take your life myself, As I got closer I began to read your thoughts, thoughts of murder, I could feel your pain. So I stopped and watched you. I watched you for days. I saw you take that woman into the ally, and with hatred in your heart you killed her. I remember thinking what a waste, but at the same time I was intrigued with you. Then you cut your throat, well my amigo that would have been more of a waste then the woman you killed. So I came over and ask you if you really wanted to die. Of course you couldn't talk but you shook your head and shed a little tear.” he was smiling at this thought. “So I gave you my blood to drink.”

 

These where the thoughts I had as I walked through the streets of Jersey City. I had now been a Vampire for two years, and must say have been the best two years I could remember to this point. This was the first week I had been hunting without Harlan with me. Harlan Hathaway, I remember was the name he told me he went by as a human some two hundred years ago. Over the last two years, Harlan had been teaching me what is was to be a Vampire. Things like what to do if I could not make it back to my shelter before daybreak, How to keep to the shadows while keeping my victim well in sight till the right moment to make my move. How to make people forget they even saw me if somehow caught while making a kill, and most important, how to stop feeding just before the heart stopped. These were just a few of the things he taught me, and I cherished each and every one of them.

 

I took a short cut as I walked across the water to the City of New York. Standing outside a bar in the shadows of the parking lot, I watched each one as they entered or left the bar. I was looking for just the right one to feed on. Soon out came a beautiful blond woman her hair was curly and came to just above the middle of her back. She was wearing a silky red dress with spaghetti straps and the back was cut low to her waist. Her back was bare with no bra in sight. Clearly she was here for seductive reasons. I had not been a Vampire long enough to read minds, before I bite them, but you didn't have to be a mind reader to know what she was after. As I left the shadows I came into her sigh. She was not afraid. The parking lot of a bar was hardly place she felt uncomfortable. She had spent many nights out in this parking lot for one reason or another. Tonight would be her last. I approached her looking her up and down. She smiled at me and without questions I took her in my arms. She tilted her head slightly exposing her neck. As my fangs extracted I bit down, oh her blood tasted as sweet as a red grape on a summer day. I feasted, hearing her heart getting slower, and slower till almost the point of stopping. I pulled away looking into her eyes as they clouded over in death, saying the last words she would ever hear. Rest in peace, b***h. After getting rid of the body I decided to enjoy the rest of my evening out so I took a stroll around the city.

 

I felt as pompous as a king with my newly given powers, no the pain of the heart was no longer there but the thrill of the kill had taken on a greater feeling for me. As I walked down an ally three young men came up to me .

 

“Give us your money or die” one of them said to me.

 

I kind of chuckled and replied with a slight grin on my face “this is your lucky night. I have already fed this evening so if you just turn and leave I will let you live”

 

They looked at one another and the one that spoke lashed out at me with a knife stabbing me in the side. My eyes turned dark green and my fangs sprang out, I looked at the knife in my side then to them.

 

“But I could go for some desert”

 

I grabbed the one that stabbed me by the head biting into his neck I ripped it open spraying his blood on his friend. I tossed him to the side to bleed to death and grabbed the next one to me. While I held him off the ground by his shirt I looked at the other one still standing there in fear.

 

“This is where you should be running” I said with blood dripping from my chin

 

He let out a scream as if he was just realizing what was going on. I looked at the one in my grasp not wanting to take the fear from him as I so easily could, instead I just smiled, showing my fangs then in an instant I was draining him of his life. When I had finished with him I suddenly remembered the knife in my side and pulled it free, thinking it was so nice to be dead.

 

I felt as though I had enough for the evening and walked back to Jersey City where I could find shelter from the approaching daytime. When I arrived at our underground shelter Harlan was there.

 

“I see you had a successful night hunting” he said to me

 

“I thoroughly enjoyed myself thank you” I replied with reverence to my maker.

 

We talked for some time as he taught me more about my powers as a vampire promising me to show me more in the coming evening.

 

“The evening has been long so take your rest and tomorrow night we will hunt together”

 

I found my way to my resting Place and with thoughts of the evening in my head I drifted off to a satisfying sleep.

 

 

Author's Note

Please let me know any thing you can about this story. I am open to all suggestions

Reviews

[Fallon]

Wow, a serial killer - turned vampire. He's certainly the evil vampire we were discussing on VL! I enjoyed his encounter with the three guys in the alley, but the ruthless killing of blonde women disturbed me a little as it's rather close to the bone of real serial killer cases.
It was well structured and the fight/kill scenes were full of vivid descriptives. Is this chapter one of a longer tale, or a short story?

[vamplit]

They are only small edits, could I do them for you and the email them to you and you can see if you like the it? I wont change anything and it would be easier than explaining what I mean. Let me know what you think.

[vamplit]

Craig has made the transition from poem to short story really well. The are one or two points that need a little work, but all in all it''s great. I look forward to reading the next chapter in Craig's death.

[deeps]

Wow!, Now this is amazing I love it.
I would redo the first paragraph a bit.
It's all thrown toegther in spots.
I love the content. It's a wonderful read.

[W. J. Howard]

Great story how you've turned a serial murderer into a vampire. I think you could really expand on this story. For example, I wanted to know more about how the psychology of a serial murder transitions into a vampire.

[John]

It's an interesting story with a serial killer being turned into a vampire.

There is some nice description throughout. The description of the woman in the red dress is well done although I don't think you need to mention she has no bra, the fact that her back is naled is enough.

You gave the vampire/serial killer some creepy personality with his actions and words. I really like where he told the third guy should be running.

The first paragraph reads a little like a bullet list. It's several sentences all giving a different description. It doesn't flow well like the following paragraph talking about Jersey.

You have a few run on sentences such as:

He was sitting at the time but I guessed him to be about six feet tall slender build with a hint of solidness, when you stalked people as long as I have you tend to take notice of these thing pretty quickly so as to know what you are up against.

read that out loud and I think you'll see the long breath you need to get through it. There are a few places with long sentences.

I think this makes a great short story, if it is going to be a longer piece you are going to lose readers because the main character is a serial killer although if you really get into the head of someone who likes to kill that could make an interesting read.

Hope this helps