Alone

Alone

A Poem by Susan14
"

wrote this when i felt sort of depressed

"

Lonely  is my feeling

I feel as if I don't belong

ANYWHERE.

 

Whenever I look at my friends

they"re all having the

FUN.

 

Everytime I look back

No one's there for

ME.

 

Everytime I seek someone's help

nobody is willing to be

FREE.

 

I try my best

to live on and

SURVIVE.

 

It just seems like

my best effort is not

ENOUGH.

 

Even though my efforts are a waste

I try each day and instead

I'm even more

LONELY.

© 2010 Susan14


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Posted 8 Years Ago


The emphasis is well put. While this is effective (to be put into caps), try experimenting. I personally like to put colors to them (some flavor to each word) and/or italicize them for that little lean on the word. Whatever you feel is most appropriate. Just a minor edit in the second stanza "they"re all having the
FUN." It should be "they're all having FUN" omitting the "the" Otherwise, very relate-able. Keep up the good work!

Posted 10 Years Ago


First off, cute picture! ^_^ hehe, and second, I like the way you put the last word in all caps to emphasize the words' importance. Good and straightforward.
It personally made me think of the fact that at one time or another we all feel this way. And writing is the best way to deal with and express emotion. Great job!


Posted 10 Years Ago



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Added on January 28, 2010
Last Updated on January 28, 2010

Author

Susan14
Susan14

Cleveland, OH



About
Hi there everyone! My name is Rena, and I am writer just like all of you. My favorite books to read are mysterios, fanstay and romance. Such as the Twilight Series, Stalker and Septimus Heap series. I.. more..

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