When I Was Young

Swap Quatrain

Spent childhood days along the shore,

turned cherished mem'ries to adore.

Imagination set ablaze,

along the shore, spent childhood days.

Soft golden sand, 'lil footprints trail,

whilst swaying plastic yellow pail;

a mighty fortress castle planned ...

'lil footprints trail soft golden sand.

Now, anchored tight, a pirate ship,

who's sneaky bandits nightly slip ...

steal treasures; quickly reunite

a pirate ship now anchored tight.

'Tween cresting waves, fair mermaids swim,

long auburn tresses glint 'n shim,

flash pearly smiles; then, misbehaves ...

fair mermaids swim 'tween cresting waves.

Soon shall ensnare strange ocean pest,

humped Loch Ness monster's oft' possessed!

Quick surfacing, without a care,

strange ocean pest shall soon ensnare.

So, gently step amongst sea shells,

sweet music of vast ocean dwells;

dance happily in timely rep ...

amongst sea shells, so gently step.

Bright, grateful smile, as sunset spills,

imagination full of thrills;

along the shore lives for awhile,

as sunset spills bright grateful smile.

Alas, tides shift, those charmed days gone,

yearned cherished memories hold on;

a childhood blessed, once precious gift,

those charmed days gone, alas, tides shift!

Author's Note

Thank you Richard W. Jenkins for introducing me to this form!

Swap Quatrain

Attributed to Lorraine M. Kanter

Within the Swap Quatrain each stanza in the poem must be a quatrain (four lines)

where the first line is separated at the fourth syllable and reversed in the fourth line.

In addition, line 2 must rhyme with line 1, and line 3 must rhyme with line 4 and so on, and no limit

to number of stanzas, BUT must not repeat the same rhyming pattern on subsequent stanzas.

Eight syllables per line. Rhyming pattern: AabB, CcdD, and so on.

Reviews

[Andrew Nelson Stewart]

Interesting read on childhood nostalgia. It's contingent upon age and how growing up never thought the day would come where you realize the fact( Life is really short.) Love the last stanza "Alas, tides shift, those charmed days gone,
yearned cherished memories hold on;
a childhood blessed, once precious gift,
those charmed days gone, alas, tides shift!." Speaks high volumes reminiscence and the deepen longing for that time again. Enjoyable read sincerely your friend in writing and life

[Susan 🦋]

Thank you Andrew for this wonderful review!! Much appreciated. :-)

[Wórdsmíth]

when it comes to childhood, it's always worth capturing something memorable that would never come again in life... nice topic to write on... interestingly inked as well.

[Susan 🦋]

Aw Thank you for taking the time to read and review! Much appreciated :-)

[Dave Brown]

You have done an impressive piece here but the ageing scenario is an unfortunate situation, no matter how well it is represented!
Where is that magic formula of forever young?
he wondered, before it becomes too late

[Susan 🦋]

Thank you kindly for reading! :-)
Magic formula? Gratefulness, regardless the age... :-)

[Robert Trakofler]

this is a fun and clever form but more importantly the imagery you made in this is wonderful:)...
Bright, grateful smile, as sunset spills,
as sunset spills bright grateful smile.
...thats magic wordplay to these ears

[Susan 🦋]

Hi Robert, Thank you for reading! :-) I had fun with this one..

[barleygirl]

I love your detailed poetic descriptions thru-out, but as a whole, it feels like your poem takes us on a journey. You start with the simplicity of childlike play on the beach, then you take a deep dive into the mysteries, and come back out the other side to the straightforward simplicities of childhood play again. This trajectory reminds me of the way a child's mind will become immersed in farfetched unfathomable ideas in the middle of routine playtime, a spontaneous drift we poets continually try to grasp onto with our words! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Susan 🦋]

Hi Margie! Thank you for taking the time to read and review! I do appreciate it! I have a little fun with this one and I am so glad you enjoyed it!

[duff]

A blue recollection collection by the shore. Salt and soft sand. Its skillfully crafted. Therapeutic reading.

[Susan 🦋]

Thank you for taking the time to read! Much appreciated :-)

[Beccy]

Love this, really well rendered. Just as importantly, if not more so, the poetry itself never becomes usurped by the adherence to form; which is something that can quite often happen when writing in such specific form.

Took me back to my childhood and the wonderful weekends away, that my sister and I enjoyed with our parents.

Beccy.

[Susan 🦋]

Sounds like a lovely childood! Thank you for the kind review :-)

[April Rose]

You have such a way with words! Great journey back in time!

[Tate Morgan]

I liked it. It was sweet very cognitive in it’s creation . The days of childhood they were great.

[Susan 🦋]

:-) yes. Thanks for reading Tater tot.

[Einstein Noodle]

my head is spinning reading your Note on the form .. leave it to Richard to challenge all .. ;)
delightful read ... love the childhood memory imaging .. language is graceful yet modern .. your a delight in rhyme says i! agree wholeheartedly with jacob on the reversals ... well done .. hard work pays off eh!? your example inspires me to squeeze me thoughts into a tight form ... thanks a lot Susan ;))))))))))))))))))) seriously tho..well done .. i am sure Richard is proud ..

[Susan 🦋]

I missed this review!Thank you so so much for the kind words! I do appreciate it. You should try it! and let me know wen you do :-)

[Einstein Noodle]

my last poem is the inverted triangle Richard invented ... its not a complex as yours but challenged me ;} if you like you can read it here:
https://www.writerscafe.org/writing/rlGt2mAk3/2313825/