Capture

A night by the tracks,

Thing's are going by fast

All I can hear is our breathing,

All I can see is the sun behind her hair

And her gentle voice as she says

 

"Capture the moment,

Sometimes thing's only happen once.

Remember the moment,

It's gone before you know it was here."

 

And then her shirt hits the ground.

 

A night by the highway

No one sees us past the headlights

And all I can hear is her screaming

All I can see is the moon behind her hair

And her rough voice as she says

 

Capture the moment,

Sometimes thing's only happen once.

Remember the moment,

It's gone before you know it was here.

 

And then her pants touch my feet.

 

A night by the haunted house

No one would ever suspect us,

All I can hear is my breathing

All I can see is nothing she never showed me

And her simplicity as she says

 

Capture the moment,

Sometimes thing's only happen once.

Remember the moment,

It's gone before you know it was here.

 

And the flash snaps a shot of me.

Reviews

[Todd Rose]

Ok, you got my attention with a poem about classic Nintendo, but really earned my respect with this one. Beautiful, vivid imagery. I really liked the refrain, the truth in the words. For me, this poem had sort of a dream-like quality to it, almost as if the writer were looking back fondly on pages in a mental scrapbook of her life. Very, very nice work!

[Coyote Poetry]

The poem is so good. You led us with strong statements and a powerful flow of words. The poem would be fun to read out loud. I like it all. A perfect way to end the poem.
Coyote

[ShanZ-Turn]

this is great, very much gets across the point of enjoying, and living in the moment, then set's it off with a picture at the end.. great job...

The only thing i would change is adding some punctuation, to carry threw the rhythm you have set up in the first paragraph.

[Clarisse Nanoit]

thing's should be things.
I don't usually pick at things like this, but if it wasn't for that mistake, this poem would be PERFECT. This is the cutest little poem ever. So romantic and sweet. LOVE what you did with the picture. Very nice work. You're very good at writing. I love it!!
KH