Life is Loose.

Life is Loose.

A Poem by Sydney Evans
"

A poem.

"
My life is loose.
The ends are untied.
My heart is in a noose.
My emotions unidentified.

I need to know that you're on board.
I need to know you care.
You'll be whom I walk toward,
Even when no ones there.

Please tell me your listening.
Tell me you see.
Do you hear me crying?
Please, save me.

I know you can see the tears.
I know you see the emptiness.
You'll grab all of my fears,
And cast them to the darkness.

Dear love of mine, take control.
Give me a vice.
Give me back a soul.
Any joy will suffice.

© 2011 Sydney Evans


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Featured Review

Great write Syd .... really a great one .. just one suggestion from this ROCD plagued critic , the following line :
I know you see the emptiness.
can be changed to :
and the emptiness
for an even smoother flow.
A 90+ from me for this great poem .


Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

This is a great poem! I love the line "My heart is in a noose." The image was just so powerful! You really express emotions strongly in this poem and it is wonderful! Great job!

Posted 10 Years Ago


This sooo good I think this is my favorite one of your poems I have read so far. And probably the best one I've read yet on this site! I love it :)

Posted 10 Years Ago


This is a wonderful poem and I believe the edits that were recommended are great. You have a whole life ahead of you and you are a remarkable person. Great Job!

Posted 10 Years Ago


Awesome little write here. I love it! :D

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Great write Syd .... really a great one .. just one suggestion from this ROCD plagued critic , the following line :
I know you see the emptiness.
can be changed to :
and the emptiness
for an even smoother flow.
A 90+ from me for this great poem .


Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

"My life is loose.
The ends are untied.
My heart is in a noose.
My emotions unidentified."
I like the strong story in the poem. The flow and poem was very good.
A very good ending to a outstanding poem.
Coyote

Posted 10 Years Ago


Awe! This flowed very nicley! I loved it! It was a great read, and very well written. Good job! :) The first paragraph was the best, it pulled me right in!

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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7 Reviews
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Added on February 7, 2011
Last Updated on February 7, 2011

Author

Sydney Evans
Sydney Evans

Eaton, OH



About
Hello, my name is Sydney Rayne Evans! I'm seventeen and love to write. more..

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