dictionary

i am not sad 

only existing.

only being knowledgeable 

of existence 

and what will

inherently hurt. i looked 

up sadness once and it wasn’t what i

wanted to hear. 

it made me feel like there would have to be 

a strange shift 

like weather 

and highways 

it didn’t say that it was walking 

or sitting or breathing

or opening my eyes after darkness 

knowing the darkness was more tolerable 

that it was opening my eyes that was the 

problem 

that my eyelids are growing heavier and heavier 

because it all will only be 

heavier and heavier