life

life awaits before 

and after me

as i swallow down each part i see 

bitter and unbearable tastes

override the mild sweetness

that is now in my throat

it gets lost inside 

of my upset stomach and

my full body shooting pains

confusion being the highlight 

of the unforgivable 

and unreliable feelings,

i take it in and i take it in until 

i rest and remember 

the only way to stop it is 

to have dead organs 

and frozen skin

a loss of memory and sheer breath 

exiting me

the control i embody 

becomes mine when 

it isn’t even mine anymore

just for when i remain empty 

and thoughtless, 

waiting for

nothing and 

becoming nothing