The Unity

i wrote it for a sick friend...

That bold stroke of red against the white washed walls,

was the omen of our dangerous unity.

 

As the paint disintegrated the walls,

I realized that was what you were doing to me.

 

I take your tumult at the break of day,

And feel the cells of my body desensetize with every taste.

 

We will sanctify our bodies,

with our clamour for life.

And the fire in our souls,

will burn out the night.

 

Your confusion will always be my temporary placebo.

So that I will not think.

Think of this blind amity.

And the road leading to the tortured seas

 

 

Reviews

[~angelalala~]

this is beautiful. i love the way it flowed, so smooth & silky. gorgeous imagery here. "We will sanctify our bodies, with our clamour for life. And the fire in our souls, will burn out the night." I hope your friend got better. this is a brilliant, wonderful write.

[Tuff Stuff]

Loved it!

[SamBug]

wow and to think you only have one on here. You're a great writer. Thanks for joining my group, reviewing my work, and giving me the chance to review this because I really liked it a lot!

[Kitty Forzaken]

I loved these lines

"As the paint disintegrated the walls,

I realized that was what you were doing to me."

awesome!

[Jules]

This is really good. I love your use of vocabulary!

[Lola]

Good vocabulary, nice poem. This is quite interesting. In the fourth stanza, first line, there is a typo, though. Shouldn't "plcebo" be "placebo"? Other than that, this was really good. ^_^

[AmeliaRose]

your vocabulary is amazing! bravo. this poem is great, it flows really well and it's very vivd and detailed. good job