Eyeless Beauty

Alone,

Surrounded by walls of iron

 

She sits,

Knees pulled to her chest

 

Her arms,

Wrapped around them

 

Upset,

She wants to cry

 

But,

She doesn't know how

 

For she,

She is an eyeless beauty

 

Along,

The edges of her world

 

Lie,

Shapes made by ice

 

Now,

The sun passes over her

 

Melting,

The frozen water

 

It,

Rises in level

 

Reaching,

Her waist slowly

 

Then,

Almost touching her neck

 

Frigid,

Water teases her alabaster skin

 

Finally,

Her grasp around her legs loosens

 

And,

The water rises above her eyeless face

 

She,

Gurgles in fear

 

Water,

Finding it's way into her

 

Her,

Mind a wreck

 

She,

Doesn't know what's making her feel

 

For,

So long she hadn't felt

 

If only,

She had eyes

Author's Note

Tell me what vibe you get from reading this poem please :) And if there are any lines in particular that don't go, please let me know! Thank you!

Reviews

[Annie K.]

Wow. All I can really say about this poem (besides that it's great) is that I love the line "For she is an eyeless beauty." It fit so well into the poem and... wow. Simply amazing. I particularly love the way you have the poem organized. It's broken up into little bits to make it easier to comprehend instead of cramming it all together, and the odd breaks keep you moving forward through the poem at a brisk pace. Once again, anthology quality!

[zainul]

It is a lovely textual art
It charmed my heart

[Last Lying Look]

Wow, this was amazing and so mysterious.
The title was so interesting and it pulled me in and the poem didn't disappoint.
Excellent work!!!
:D

[Terryg]

Hey, as I read this I almost saw two poems in one. Alone she sits her arms upset (a very beutiful line) these were the words that I thought could be almost titles {in bold print} to the lines following each word. Then, as the reader reads the lines, the titles in bold could tell a story, along with the entire poem. However, this would have to be continued thoughout the piece. Maybe. But that's just me. I'm always trying to do wild things in poems. I wrote one piece long ago where I tried to put 3 poems within the single piece. But that's just me. You may not want to do this. That's Okay.

[Vee]

i really love this peice it is beautiful i especially love the layout keep writing!

[James K. Blaylock]

To me, this girl seems to be trapped in her own sad world, and without any hopes left. Then when the sun finally happens along all it can do it melt away the icy sorrows, alas, creating new ones... For if she had eyes she could see her own coming death! Wonderfully deep piece!

jkb